Another Stupid Act

Sometime ago I wrote about Lyn’s friend, K, who ran away from his house with his girlfriend and did the deed with Colgate toothpaste.

He did another of his idiotic antics again, with another girl recently.

As a 15 year old girl whose parents whom I believe have been having a hard time trying to juggle between earning good living and at the same time coping up with a few teenagers at home, she (lets call her J) felt lonely and thought that her parents didnt love her.

Came K into the picture. Promised her good companionship and whatever else.

They ran away from their houses one evening. J sold off her gld chain and K, to prove his manliness, sold off his mobile phone. Between them they had RM1,000.00. Both kids checked in to a local motel in the city for a few nights. And, to celebrate their newly found freedom, they decided to travel.

To Langkawi no less.

At this time, both parents had loged police reports respectively.

3 hours after landing on the northern island, a policeman noticed them behaving suspiciously and somehow one thing led to another. That night, both spent their evening behind bars. And so they did for the next 3 nights until J’s father came over to fetch his underage daughter.

What is wrong with this boy I asked? I have no idea. Does this  boy has a death wish or something?

 

 

 

Crossroads

I havent met JLoh for a few months but maintained close contact with her via phone. She called me on the eve of my birthday last month and we had a long phone chat, giggling like teenagers exchanging bedtime stories.

Somehow, last Saturday night, we decided to make a date to see each other after she finishes work at a local 5-star hotel. Supper was noodle soup and a few rounds of teh tarik at Kampung Bharu. Finally conversation steered towards our current love lives and family.

At this age and with a teenager in tow, I told her, that I really dont have time to play mind games neither I can afford to play the “game” way too many times. Its just so time consuming, energy draining and, confusing. I have always been comfortable in making out plans ahead of time so that I can gauge where I am when the time arrives. The companion and partner that I am looking for should be able to handle my emotional needs and is a free man on paper. The checklist is rather long too.

Yet, I related to her, my current beau, The Seafarer, has challenged me with my own rules and boundaries and I started to question everything up to the point of me not enjoying the courtship anymore. So, over the third teh tarik I even mentioned vaguely about doing SWOT analysis on this relationship! Whats the ROI and should I draw up a KPI as well while I am at it?

Hmmm…okay, this is getting crazier by the day.

JLoh was right. I didnt give this relationship a fighting chance. I was too busy gauging the end result and not enjoying the process or the journey. She said, stop for a while and smell the roses. Cross the bridge when you arrive and not before as you dont know when you will reach there. But thats the problem, I want so badly to plan my journey so I can know when I will reach the bridge.

 

 

Monday Blues

Monday - I wonder why there is a term for this day - Monday blues. Could it be that you get too sick for all the things you do over the weekend that you get “blue” on Monday? Or, could it be that you are so sick of facing a new working day that you feel “blue”?

I started off the day with a good dose of kopi kau and some toast with kaya at the nearby stall which is just minutes away from the office. Good thing so far that the weather seems like a fantastic day..to be at home..(Hanie! stop it!)

Then 0900 hours. All the follow up phone calls and the sales calls have started. By the time I got to the ten gadzillion number, I got sick to the point of being sarcastic.

“Good morning, is this company XYZ?”

“Huh?”

“Is this company XYZ? I am calling from ABC Company and my name is Hanie. May I speak to Ms HR Manager please?”

“What? What? ADCD company? What you talk about?” (I almost died hearing the receptionist’s atrocious Manglish)

“Ms HR Manager please. Can you put me through?”

I could hear she puts me on hold and transfers me to HR department, and someone at the other end picks up the phone…

“Ah..what you want? Who are you?”, answered Ms HR Manager.

I rolled off the usual obligatory intro. She said, no and a few other vague answers. Infact, she had such limited vocab that 5 seconds down the road I realised the ONLY vocab she had was only one word - no - in a mono tone that even clowns could cry.

“So, Ms HR Manager, you dont send out your employees for any public programs at all? Not even one eventhough you are an HRDF contributor?”

“No!”

“What about Telephone Techniques or Communication Skills?” ( the bitch in me started to rear its head)

“No!”. And for a moment she kept quiet. Then she continued, softly, “Why ar..?”

I was already grinning from ear to ear…hehehe…..

 

 

Nearness Of The Beloved One

Nähe des Geliebten	Nearness of the Beloved One
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	Translation by Hyde Flippo
Ich denke dein,     wenn mir der Sonne schimmer	I think of you,     when I see the sun’s shimmer
Vom Meere strahlt;	Gleaming from the sea.
Ich denke dein,     wenn sich des Mondes Flimmer	I think of you,     when the moon’s glimmer
In Quellen malt.	Is reflected in the springs.
Ich sehe dich,     wenn auf dem fernen Wege	I see you,     when on the distant road
Der Staub sich hebt,	The dust rises,
In tiefer Nacht,     wenn auf dem schmalen Stege	In deep night,     when on the narrow bridge
Der Wandrer bebt.	The traveler trembles.
Ich höre dich,     wenn dort mit dumpfem Rauschen	I hear you,     when with a dull roar
Die Welle steigt.	The wave surges.
Im stillen Haine geh’ ich oft zu lauschen,	In the quiet grove I often go to listen
Wenn alles schweigt.	When all is silent.
Ich bin bei dir,     du seist auch noch so ferne,	I am with you,     however far away you may be,
Du bist mir nah!	You are next to me!
Die Sonne sinkt,     bald leuchten mir die Sterne.	The sun is setting,     soon the stars will shine upon me.
O wärst du da!	If only you were here!
J.W. von Goethe	- From the German

 

 

The Dreaded Cold Bug

The symphtoms were all there - headaches, sneezing, blocked nose and general crankiness.

Yeap, the cold bug has finally landed in me and boy, do I hate this. Oh, did I also mention that I talk in my sleep whenever I am down with fever. I hope The Teenager doesnt read this or she would be on standby mode by my bed with a tape recorder.

Sorry, no further posting till I get rid of this thing in a few days time. Hopefully with enough rest and TLC, I’d recover for the weekend.

 

Massacre In China

Looks like the China officials are preening the city for the upcoming Olympics. I am surprised at the lack of publicity in the mass media over this massacre. Could it be that these people think the lives of animals are worthless that they do not deserve a mention in any of the newspapers? The internet being a borderless medium for spreading news like this has yet again, become one of the main sources for info dissemination for cruel act like this.

A link for reading on this is here.

If you can find some compassion in your heart, please take a moment to sign a petition against this cruelty.

 

The linkto the petition is here.

 

Love And Friendship

For JH, heres a poem by Emily Bronte

 

Love is like the wild rose-briar, 
Friendship like the holly-tree 
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms 
But which will bloom most constantly? 

The wild-rose briar is sweet in the spring, 
Its summer blossoms scent the air; 
Yet wait till winter comes again 
And who will call the wild-briar fair? 

Then scorn the silly rose-wreath now 
And deck thee with the holly’s sheen, 
That when December blights thy brow 
He may still leave thy garland green. 

 

The Malays

I have a foreign friend who has been residing in Malaysia for the past 20 odd years. Each time we spoke, we would talk about the local culture and racial issues which are perversely still felt in so many ways in the society in Malaysia. In specific, the Malays.

I began to wonder how can this be so badly reflected to a foreigner when all these time I felt that enough efforts were being made to show racial tolerance are thriving in this country. Has the Malay culture deteoriates so badly for the past decades that it doesnt carry so much values anymore? At one point of time, I brought him around to meet some Malay friends so that he can see that not all values are lost with the progression of the modern world. The circle of friends I have are varied but this particular few are forward thinking and yet still retaining that Malay values and culture, and thats exactly what I wanted to share with him.

So where does the current Malay society gone wrong in building up their reputation? You see the majority of the Mat Rempits doing wheelies along Jalan Parlimen on Saturday nights are Malay youth. The police who drag a group of drug addicts down from their Black Maria to the court house are mostly Malays. Wife beaters who made headlines in the local newspapers are Malays. The child abuser couple that was being sentenced are Malay couples. The Businessman who appeared in court for CBT is a Malay guy who came back from the Haj.

I dont blame him for seeing all the negativity of the current Malay society, because they surround him whereever he goes.

I hope that in time, he will be able to see that there are good progression in the Malays which will not made any bad headlines as being the non-progressive society of Malaysia.

In good time.

 

Is This What I Want?

Ok, so, moi being a 39 year old last Sunday feels that it is high time to do a little bit extra thinking about what I want in short term, mid term and long term. Not that I havent done it before but I guess this time around these things need a little extra time to decide with a more firmer decision.

I guess for the last many, many months when things have gone a bit settled from my previous life, I have concluded that I have found a new life again. Starting everything (well, almost everything) from a clean slate makes things easier in perspective. There are still baggages no doubt but not so many that may cripple my daily life.

There are a few decisions that I make have to make in the next few days, weeks and months. I think most singles, especially single moms and dads out there will definitely have drawn out at least something that resembles a planning like mine. A few things that may make all the differences in single moms and dads are, perhaps will look like follows:

1. The children - stuff that will make every single moms and dads having sleepless nights. As much as they have love/hate or hate/hate relationships with the exes, I believe the special bonding with the children can never be compromised in any way possible as they are your responsibilities the minute they enter the world, through your action 9 months before that. I spent a good deal thinking how I could raise Lyn is a better environment, better education. I also dont want her to be shackled with perceptions thrown in by some of the ex in-laws who had nothing better to do than telling her that it was her fault her daddy had a heart attack. These are the very same people who wanted her to live with them so that she could be in a “better environment”. I wish I could shield her from all of these spiteful, toxic adults (of which I have managed to, so far) forever, but knowing the fact that I cant, just tear me to pieces each time I think of it.
2. Career - the fact that I was a business owner for decades and for reasons only I know and wish to keep, at least for the moment, and have decided to enter into the working environment again left me with so much to ponder about financial issues. Somehow, I know that, I may have to really push myself again, knowing that I am now mentally more prepared to face the challenges that the business world are giving out. And hopefully, I may reap the reward as how it was.
3. Love life - what can I say? Life alone is what it is - alone.  I am definitely pretty happy with the alone-time I have. This means I am not conforming to other people’s expectations on what to wear (or not wear) while doing the dishes, or laundry, or give a hoot whether I decide to snooze at 3pm on a Saturday. It has been colourful enough but I think it would add to the colours if I can share it with someone. And that comes to the next issue - can I compromise another person in my life now that I am contented with myself. A relationship needs to be built with love and trust and with time, it cannot be forced. Thats what a friend said to me recently. I am really in no hurry to re marry but somehow I do believe that I should have (when there is) a more substance in a friendship so that I know which direction I should be taking. To see whether is this person is worth the investment in time so that I can make my decision within a span of say….3 months?

I honestly dont know the answer.

 

 

The Birthday

 

 

Note to self: Happy Birthday, Hanie.