My Wish To My Loved Ones

According to Wikipedia, Generation Y is described as teenagers of the day, which they defined as separate from Generation X, and then aged 13–19 (born 1974-1980), as well as the teenagers of the upcoming ten years and “Generation Y” alludes to a succession from “Generation X”.

General gaps can be identified as follows: (credit)

• Lost Generation – those who fought in World War 1
•  Interbellum Generation – born at the close of the 19th century and were young adults during the 1920s.
• Greatest Generation – the generations who fought in World War 2
• Silent Generation – generation who were too young to join the service in World War 2 but their formative years had great impact due to the event.
• Baby Boom Generation – born in the circa of 1960’s.
• Gen X – those born after the Baby Boomers ended, circa 1961 to 1981. Also known as Baby Busters.
• Gen Y – also known as Generation Next or the Millenials. Born between mid to late 1970’s to early 2000’s.
• Generation Z – those born in the mid 1990’s and the end of 2000’s. Also known as Digital Natives or iGen.
• Those born after 2010, it was suggested they should be called as Generation Alpha.

According to a report compiled by a wellknown global staffing and recruitment company, the Baby Boomers just want to work, the Gen X want flexibility in work and the Gen Y want flexibility and meaning in work. Gen X seldom see their parents who are mostly at work.

Working in the current environment, I thought I have been trained well in managing these issues and challenges. Notwithstanding, working closely with so many youths throughout the years has prepared me for those occassional ”surprises” sprang up. It is said that regular communication, feedback sessions and sense of ownership will provide a better platform to an understanding of Gen Y.

I wish I could just practice all these knowledge on the home front better than what I have been educating my clients in my course of work. Just yesterday I was talking to my husband and sharing with him my thoughts on parental responsibilities. I just want my Teenager to have a better fighting chance in the outside world. My world revolves around only two people now and will always stay that way. The love and care I shower have been given unconditionally.

When I was young, the fighting chances were given in a way that many of them were very hurting. I didn’t understand any of them. There were many times when I thought I had lost the love of my parents, especially my dad’s. Being a gung-ho teenager didn’t really help with the relationship with my dad who was a quiet and reserved man. To have a mom who was always raising the bar was equally depressing at so many points. Nothing was good enough.

I grew up deciding that when I had my own broods to raise, I will make sure they will be given all the opportunities and fighting chances that I could offer. More communication, no judgement and allowing the growing up process to take place. There was one time when my husband and I were away on a short trip and I was fussing about the Teenager. I was anxious wanting to know whether was she eating well, safe and sound at home and making time to her college (knowing she is a morning-challenged person). My husband called it “separation anxiety”. I did fret and fuss about all these. All throughout the years there were only the two of us. I knew she is growing up and finding her own footings. I knew she would explore the world outside.

When she was 13, we decided to take a drive around the neighbourhood where we used to live. Just driving around quietly and not saying anything, I detected something that she wanted to tell me. Finally, we stopped infront of this shoplots and she turned around and asked, “Will you love me even when I make mistakes?”

I hugged her so tight that I think almost choked her. I told her that I will love her no matter what, even when the world collapse and the earth opens.

Love hurts and sometimes you seem to be cruel in order to be kind.

In the process, I do hope those whom I love so dearly and fiercely will at the end of the day realize all these.

To All The Teenagers In The World

Bringing up a child is as difficult as it is. When they are babies, there is another set of issues to deal with – colic, viral fever, diaper change etc etc. When they grow a bit older you will find yourself always on the brink of sanity with their antics, tantrums and growing pains that seem to be worse as the clock hit the wee hours of the morning. Emergency room bills will prove you that.

So when these kids grow to their teenage years, it goes without saying that there are more issues to deal with. To me teenagers are selfish lot. They want to be babies at some times, and be an adult at other times. The problem is, they are neither. The moment there are problems, they will retreat under the disguise of being a baby so that hopefully they are not punished for the misdeeds they do.

Parents like me are always perplex with one other issue. Some other people’s teenagers are so eager to heed advice from you when your own doesn’t seem to open up an ear at all. Where have we gone wrong? I don’t have an answer to all these.

I have thought over the weekend some of the issues and thoughts that I think are shared among the other parents in the wide world  about their teenagers. Here they are, in no particular order:

• Have you seen what the next door neighbour has been feeding their kids? Yea..and you think your brussels sprouts and roast chicken are bad food?
• No, I am not your walking ATM machine.
• The fixed phone line at home is for making reasonable phone calls and receiving phone calls. It has meters that needs to be paid. Talking to your school mates for 4 hours on the phone does not cut it. What? Dont you guys talk at school?
• 5,000 text messages within 20 days to your GF/BF/BFF are insane. What do you guys talk about anyway??
• The trash from the kitchen cannot walk by itself to the garbage bin outside.
• We dont have maids to clean your room every day. (and yes the laundry bag cannot be filled by itself)
• Molds on plates in your room is not some exotic art work that you’d like to keep for future generations.
• Clothes on the floor doesn’t give me that “homely feeling” and since your room technically is still in my house, I expect them to be either in the cupboard or laundry bag.
• Please let me know the next time you want to borrow my Channel tops and especially my perfume so that I can buy you one too. I dont want to end up turning my perfume bottle in the perfume to find them empty. Same thing with my shampoos and conditioner.
• When I said I want to take you out for a nice, fancy dinner that would cost me half of my salary, I meant only you, not you, your BF and your BFF and your BFF’s BF.
• There are no little green men in the kitchen to clean up after you (and your buddies) come and ransack the kitchen to fry nuggets on a Saturday night at 3.00 am.
• The car runs on fuel, not water or saliva. Please fill the tank again after you took it out for some spin with your friends.
• College is too hard? Try working your ass off 5 days a week, a few mouths to feed, a mortgage, a car loan, a few cats and a traffic jam to beat, Little Missy!

Feel free to chime anywhere.

Adjustment To A New Living

As I sit across the dining table from my husband, I could not imagine for the life of me feeling so contented like this despite the fact that we have been sitting here quietly for the past few minutes immersing ourselves in emails and Facebooking on each other’s laptops.

Just yesterday I told him that please, could he bear with with me while I get myself adjusted to the fact that I am now able to wake up to him in the morning, having him to be the last person I see before I get to bed, and having a partner to talk to while we go out to the malls. I am also adjusting to a partner who actually makes coffee for me in the morning and vacuuming the bedroom. Oh, by the way? I am also adjusting to the I love you’s, hugs and kisses that he so lavish on me.

How living with a husband who is also a partner, friend, lover and soulmate has changed the perspective of love. Coming from me wh0 was always questioning the actual existence of this concept…hmm…

So yes. There is such thing as this soul mate concept. It comes to you when you least expected it. Life has come to a full cycle. This family of two has now become three. Full engine forward from now onwards.

We’ve Only Just Begun

I didnt understand this song when I heard it many years ago, but now I do.

15 months to the date since we first got to know each other. I wasnt looking for any potential partner at that time. Traumatic divorce tends to do that to a person. You yearn for friendship and companionship but you dont want to be with someone for the sake of being with someone. I know there are a lot of women out there who have gone down this path, and ended up regretting that very decision.

The life has been so focused on raising a teenager who herself has gone through a difficult time adjusting. It didnt help that I was also going through my own life’s adjustment, fighting the demons in me and still trying to retain the sanity.

In my mind, to find a potential partner who is also a best friend, companion, mate, partner, soul mate is like trying to look for a dragon, Lock Ness monster or a leprechaun. Everyone has heard about them, talked about them. Heck! There are even stories about them, complete with the images. But has anyone really seen them? Some people claimed they have, some dismissed it as mere fairy tale.

Only romances in fairy tales ended up as the Prince and Princess live happily ever after. That is after the Prince has travelled the seven continents, slay the dragons, and all of these time, the Princess was busy fighting evil witches, waiting for her Prince.

But, my fairy tale did come true. Although it has just started, it has been a worthwhile wait. The 15 months wait, with all the across-the-continents travelling by my husband, the 14 hours time difference challenge, fighting the lonely days and difficult times….

Finally, the long wait is over. He is here now. And, as The Carpenter’s song goes, we’ve only just begun.

Cooking For The Sick

Today I had to pay a visit to the doctor. This terrible headache and floaty feeling have been bugging me to no end for the past couple of weeks. I kept on thinking about that two glasses of red wine that I had during the last annual dinner. I know that I have a few triggers and so it could have been it.

140/100. That was what the blood pressure monitor said. I was a walking time bomb!

About 19 years ago I walked into Dr Goh’s clinic who was my O&G. It was suppose to be a monthly routine as I had a few more weeks to go before the baby was due. The pregnancy had been a difficult one. I was hospitalized  so many times due to so many complications that I exausted all of my medical and annual leave. But that morning felt different. My legs were swollen like an elephant’s and the headache was unbearable. I felt floaty. As I lay down on the medical bed, I thought my belly looked as if it was going to burst.

160/140. That was my BP on that morning. For one moment, I was thinking about my appointments in the office for the rest of day. The next moment, I was wheeled out from the doctor’s suite to be prepared for a C-section.

The BP never did go away completely even after close to 19 years of giving birth.

So, today, I cooked something simple and not too heavy. Cant do much with a bigger-than-an elephant headache than to just cook something quick, simple and edible.

Congee

The Village Bicycle

No, I wasnt talking about the real bicycle, but more of an analogy.

I have not blogged about single-dom for a long time. Not ever since I met the love of my life and marrying him. But tonight’s tv series, “Samantha Who?” brought back some old thoughts. The tv series had its characters sorting out some intimate sex and trust issues. One the characters was dating this guy and she told him that she had not had sex for 5 years. She couldnt find a good enough reason to sleep with anyone during those years. He told his friends about her and it became such a big joke.

He just gave her a reason for her not to sleep with him.

I really dont know what other people’s opinion on this. I guess each to their own. However, I do know what she (the tv character) meant. I have seen friends, women and men alike, who change partners as if they change shoes. Every weekend is looked upon as hunting weekend, prowling places to hook up with someone. KL is not exactly big like New York. It gets intensely uncomfortable, at least to me, when I have a few of these acquitances in the same room knowing everyone has boinked each other at some point or another.

There has always this fear in me being the locker room topic, so to speak. Or like the village bicycle which everyone had ridden on. And talk about the experience. The handles are a tad long. Rear tyre needs more air. Bell not ringing as loud. Wrong colour on the body. Stuff like that. And everyone seems to know something about this bicycle.

I have issues with locker room topics, and I surely have issues in trust too. Religion and being old-school aside, I just think that there are so many other things that could really make me being attracted to someone. Being able to piece out words together to form coherent and intelligent sentences is a real turn on. My husband has the ability to do exactly that and that was one of the things that make me so attracted to him.

Before we were married, being far apart at 10,000 miles away gave us the opportunity to get to know each other better in other areas and not letting physical attraction get in the way. In a lot of relationships, physical attractions have almost always play a role in blinding issues when by right they should be addressed.

A friend recently confessed of her inability to stay exclusive to one person. She just couldnt bring herself to do so. Fear of commitment? Sounds like it. Did she have bad experiences with possesive partners. Apparently so. To her, if she comits, then she would lose herself and her ability to be free. Free to do whatever she wants and with anyone she wants.

Makes sense to me, at least for a nano second.

The next second onward it just lost me.

Toxic People

The Teenager and I just got back from watching the movie “The Tooth Fairy” starring hunky “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson. (By the way, he has awesome, clean looking teeth.) In the story, Dwayned played Derek Thompson an arrogant faded-star hockey player who was turned into a tutu-wearing tooth fairy.

While watching, it reminded me how we sometimes feeling all drained out after being with certain kind of people. They just sapped the energy out of you. I call them toxic people. They are perpetual bunch of negative people, let me tell you. Negative about anything and everything about themselves and the world around them. Every little thing scares the shit out of them. They refuse to come out from their cocoon of comfort. Opportunities are seen as threats to bring them down. Toxic people exist in your office; they can even be someone in your family or your friends.

I have encountered toxic people one too many times in my life. I climbed Mount Kinabalu right after I finished my SPM way back in the 80’s. The guy I was dating then just had no idea why I had to climb a mountain when “everyone else is busy dating out”. I told him “because it is there”.

Somewhere along the years, I have done some crazy stuff (not drug induced stuff mind you) but the fact remains that because either “it is there, or because I can, or because opportunities arises”. Any which, I figured why limiting yourself when you can?

(More) Places To Visit Before I Kick The Bucket

Ive blogged on the places that I’d love to visit and things that I’d want to do before I kick the bucket. To be at the Shangri-La of the world still tops apart from performing haj, God willing.

Time flies and I kept on adding new places/things.

Angkor wat

Borobudur

Egypt

Germany

New Zealand

Petra, Jordan

Scotland

Sicily

Wordless Wednesday

Dragon and phoenix. They say it is a perfect partnership. I have found my Dragon.

Malaysia And Reflecting On A Sunday

First, there was the tsunami in 2004. It came with no warning, swallowing everything that came in its path. Hundreds of thousands were either missing or dead. Families of a few generations just perished in one day.

And just a few days back, the headline screamed of countless dead bodies and unaccounted missing people who were buried beneath the rubbles of collapsed buildings in Haiti during a recent earthquake.

I thank God that Malaysia is nowhere near any epicenter of earthquake, or sits in the volcano ring as in the Philipines. Natural disaster such as typhoon is never heard of although flood is pretty common in the East Coast and East Malaysia. I have always said that you can never really die out of hunger in Malaysia.

And yet, are we thankful for what we have in our country?

As George and I  went for our walk one Sunday not too long ago, he pointed out things that I took for granted simply because I see them everyday. The amazing looking Petronas Twin Tower for instance. Or the world-class triple lane that led us to one of our trips out of the city. The various international-class cuisines which are readily available in about every corner of the city, the upmarket housing areas spread all over Klang Valley and all the latest cars and gadgets of every imaginable designs and colours one could imagine. Just one look at Plaza Low Yatt’s IT and mobile center in Bukit Bintang will make you think how sophisticated life is in Malaysia. A drive through Sri Hartamas, Taman Tun Dr Ismail or Bangsar will make you wonder how lucky Malaysians are that they are able to own properties worth millions of ringgit. Just check out the Mid Valley Megamall and you will wonder when does the Malaysians stop shopping?

Newspapers and various mediums of mass media thrive with what just reported that there are 6.2 millions of Malaysians are connected to Facebook. Just recently, Malaysia was also voted as one of the top 10 in the world for a country to retire, just falling short behind Singapore.

And yet, despite all of these, we whine and whine about how other countries have better benefits. Oh! How freedom of speech are better exercised. They sulked at the Government when ISA was not going to be abolished and when the recent religion turmoil cropped up recently, these were the same people who wanted to have ISA be used to control the crisis.

Part of my work involve in bridging the relationship between the organization that I work with and Government ministries and Government linked companies. My department is the main contact point for any information with regards to the related companies. In able for me to do an effective job, it is pertinent for me to understand the Government policies and how its machineries work. The more I study them, the more I am aware of how lucky I am to be here, in this very country, where although despite its flaws here and there, I can never die out of hunger, or needing to build underground shelters to avoid typhoons, or grief over missing family members after an earthquake.

As I drive out from my home and passing by the Pakcik who sells the nasi lemak, there is a long queue of people of various races waiting to buy from him. The buses are packful of commuters going to their work of place. Cruising the Jalan Parlimen, I can see the looming cityscape beyond the downhill drive. The roads are choke with vehicles of various makers. No fear of war, or bomber planes, no fear of lunatic, suicide bombers.

As I type this, the TV is on a live telecast (hosted by Dr Azhari Ismail and someone that I didnt get her name) of the happenings in Haiti. A few callers called in saying on how this happened because of God’s way of showing how “angry” He was with the kaffirs and He was showing his powers by killing these people.

I find this kind of thinking by Muslims very disturbing. How can God who is what we have been taught as compassionate be going on a punishing spree? Does that mean that the people of Acheh of which place are known as the “Anjung Mekah” have been mungkar bunch of people and God had punish them with the tsunami? Some were expressing their displeasure by the assistance that came from the Americans, Canadians, Australians and the French? Why are they so prejudiced against the humanitarian assistance from all these countries? When there are so many thousands die, these people are so busy “melaluk-laluk gila” (ranting).

Who are we to say that we are much better than these people? Isnt that “riak”, a trait that God says to stay away from?