I have been a long advocate of equality of women in general and Muslim women in specific. I have written blogs and participated in various blog-dialogues quoting many examples from reliable sources on this subject as well.

Having a daughter at home, Lyn has been raised in an environment where she can always come to either me or her father for advice, and that she can go the distant if she wants to. She can go to the highest mountain or cross the biggest ocean because it is there. I have been raised the same and both of my parents have instilled, in their own ways that if I believe I could achieve something, I will.

Not too long ago I have written about oppression of women . Time and again I have expressed that many of the laws contained within the current Muslim world were the works of men who believes that only patriachial ways is the only way to go to control their women. These men are hiding behind the religion and so when the words are spread, the whole entire universe believe it is the religion itself is patriachial.

Zainah Anwar, a founder of Sisters In Islam which is a women’s advocacy group has written numerous articles on the unjust of the current Muslim law in Malaysia that discriminates the womenfolks. Her article - Unjust And Unnecessary  - has fueled so many hearts to speak out including me.

With a new century arrived, I wonder whether the progression that I see around me can be balanced off with equally bad discriminatory law? Is this justice?

When I got divorced from my ex, it was understood that whatever we have earned within the marriage will have to be divided equally between both parties. But, in the event that he dies before the distribution, his share will be shared with his siblings, mother and far away relatives. His daughter will only get one-eigth. Does many Muslim men in this country realises that they can bequeth their portion to their daughters so that they are well protected in the event of their death?

I recalled many years before when he and I bought our very first property and was in the lawyer’s office together with his friend. I brought up the issue of an additional agreement that in the event of my death, my portion will be bequethed straight to my daughter and same goes for his as well. I have no son from this marriage and my daughter will not be so much be protected to gain what is by right solely hers in the event of untimely death of one of us. The friend could not agree to my request, telling me how I have embarassed my (then) husband infront of the lawyer and that it was unreasonable of me to think that my husband (and his parents and siblings) will not take care of my daughter if I were to kick the bucket first.

I told him that if I were dead, I cant do much to protect Lyn as I will be 6 feet down under and being eaten as a buffet feast to all sorts of creepy crawlies. BUT, this agreement will. See how narrow minded he was?

 No wonder his wife left him too.

Duh me.

Facebook has been here for such a long time and only now I really have gotten myself into this thing. It used to be Myspace and Friendster. I deleted my Friendster account after getting sick so many times looking at my ex (then husband’s) page full of scantily clad girls blowing him kisses thanking him for his messages and counting on how many “funny” groups he had registered himself with.

I still keep my Myspace account eventhough I am beginning to have doubt on the kind of people who lurks in there nowadays. I have received “invites” from young men to have secret rendezvous to all the too-familiar Nigerian scammers who have all the tell-tales of cut-and-paste profiles and blurry images.

Facebook, in a way has so many utilities thats just waiting to be explored. At first, they all seem so childish and innocent. You poke someone, send another a bunch of growing flowers and send gifts to friends. But then I realised, there are always the inner child in every person and this site has provided that. Not mentioning of course there are other applications in the site to cater to the “sexy” minds, but hey, we are all adults.

I am totally hooked!

Ok, people, have fun poking.

Numerous stories, tips and books have been written about the differences of these two species - man and woman - since ten gadzillion years ago. Most probably, during the neatherdal time, they even scribbled on the walls of their caves their own stories out of stones and sticks.

Women are all peaches and candies, strawberries and honey, cotton candy and sweet. They perspire and not sweat. Men..well, are just not any of the above.

Now, why did I picked on the word clueless today? Simply because I need to rant a tad about how some men are just plain clueless about treating women and they wonder why the women keep on running away from them.

Take a simple situation. Going out on a date.

• For God’s sake, please pick up a decent place to go for dinner. A&W may offer you a whole range of burgers and fried chicken. They even throw in curly fries and upped your drinks to large if you pay additional 99 sens. But, this is a date. I do take all the pain to put on a nice dress and waxed and err..ok I digress here. But the bottom line is, woman do take great pride in dressing up to go somewhere but not A&W.
• Deodorants were not created to look great on the shelves of the pharmacies. They are there for a purpose. And I can throw you plenty of reasons why too.
• Get comfortable ironing those shirt. I mean, here I am stepping out from my house wearing something nice (see the pattern here?) and you arrived in crumpled shirt? Leave that “The Only Thing My Dad Got In London For Me Was This Tshirt” t shirt at home.
• When we are sitting at the table and the waiter brings in two menus, they are meant to be read by two people. That means you and I are suppose to flip through the menu and we choose what we like. Not you order for me.
• Dinner is suppose to be spent eating and exchanging stories. Yours and mine. Dont assume that I dont get enough of your chiropractic stories who tried to fix your back after you did some weird positions with your last GF. Honestly? I dont want to know.
• Telling me allllllllllll about your ex GF. REALLY NOW. I DONT WANT TO KNOW.
• I have a friend who coined a term - courtesy call - right after ..you know, had a booty call or a hook up somewhere. Ms J firmly believes that a man can still be a gentleman and not a cad in a girl’s mind long after the spermicide is washed and rubbers are thrown. All he needs to do is to check whether she has arrived home safely or just a quick call telling how enjoyable the evening was.
• Being a single mom can be a tad tricky in the dating game. A single mom with a teenager who likes to know with whom she goes out with in a bit harder too. I prefer to be upfront with my new friend that I do have to pick her up at certain hour and that house visits will not be in the agenda, at all. So far no issue there. But unfortunately I do have some friends  whose new guys just doesnt see the rationale or the morale behind the no-visit-when-kids-are-around rule.
• I have written about this big no-no again and again. Men. Take heed! Do not undress another woman with your eyes when you go out with your woman. Sure, the sways of the hips and the perfume are irresistable but keep the urging to the minimum level. Masturbate before going out if you must so that you dont look like a cad.
• Call it conservative. I really dont care. But I do believe that men should be picking up the tab on the first date. Not that I mind picking it up later on during subsequent meet, if I feel its worth for a second date.

Sigh.

No, mustnt give up. Thats for sure. But its like. You know. Looking for a pin in a haystack. Maybe I should use metal detector instead? hmmmmmm

Ahem…I am, today, declaring that my so-called diet had gone bust due to my weakening will at refusing comfort food. Blame it on work stress and adding on to that my so called no-social life of late, suddenly the thought of enjoying food reared its head after a long hiatus.

Yea…

• Cheesecake.- I mean, come on. Who can resist a fantastic, creamy, yummy-to-tummy looking cheesecake?
• Beef burgers - no, not the gourmet kind that I lurrrvvvvve from Etoile of Equatorial Hotel, its the Ramli burger kind. Double special with cheese. Priced at about RM4.30 with all the full flare of veges, beef patties and enough sauces and mustard to blow you to the moon, I will be happy tucking this for dinner.
• Nasi lemak bungkus - I really like the one where this Abang sells his version of nasi lemak bungkus (wrapped nasi lemak ) at the Indo Mee Square in SS2. Sells for RM1.20 per pack, its worth your money. Adding on a piece of his sambal chicken for another RM3.00/piece to this sinfully delicious and aromatic meal, and I will be one happy gal.
• French toast with vanilla ice cream - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh to die for and dont mind me for saying - this is about the ultimate sexy food. Ever. Close to orgasm. Better still if theres a glob of peanut butter sandwiched in between…….
• Cafe latte - It is said that coffee may be good for people who leads a fairly active lifestyle but may not be so for those who do their exercise surfing the channels while playing comatose on the couch. It will lead chronic insulin resistance to the body. Coming back home by 9.30pm everyday makes me want to think nothing but crawl in bed instead of sweating it out at the gym. I guess the only compensation I have is a few hours of walk and gym on Saturday mornings.
• Mee goreng….I like the mamak mee goreng done quite wet. Supper is not the same without mee goreng mamak and teh tarik halia.
• Teh tarik halia -

Okay, enough of airing the laundry for today. Lets look for the frappe..mm

I have never stepped into a crematorium in my life.

Except, I guess, you just have to experience everything once in your life? So, yesterday, I did.

The office mates and I went to pay our last respect to a passing relative of one of the bosses yesterday. I have been to a few Chinese funerals before but have never actually gone up to the extend of going either to the burial ground or the crematorium. 2pm, the cortege left the house and we all bundled up into the car to follow the procession.

Arriving at the crematorium, I parked the car and we all walked into the waiting parlour. Looking a lot like a mini muhibbah group (me the Malay Muslim, Ms J a Catholic Chinese and Mr S and his GF are Indian) we grouped behind the deceased relatives, looking towards the casket which was placed at one entrance heading towards where the furnaces were.

Now, blame this on all the Hollywood movies that you have ever seen. I had a thinking that the relatives will do all the prayers,  then the casket will be wheeled in and later placed into the furnace when everyone else goes home.

Wrong.

After the chants from the Sri Lankan monks and followed by a further short prayers, the handlers pushed the casket through the entrance, straight into the furnace. All the relatives followed behind and obviously me and the rest of mates who at this time were so curious of what was going on tailed behind.

The next thing I knew, I saw the handler pushed a button at the side of the furnace and ROOOAAAAAAARRRR!! The loudest burning, roaring sound came out from the now-fiery furnace and I could feel the heat all the way hitting my face and body even when we were standing quite a distance! I saw huge flames engulfing the casket and everyone was offering their last silent prayers.

I stood there, awed. A deep sense of confusion and other unexplained feelings engulfed me. I stood there knowing there was a body inside there who used to be just like me - living, breathing, with soul and feelings, needs and wants.

We went home right after.

I dropped the mates off later on and drove home in silence still trying to comprehend the feelings I had. Caught in my thinking how life is. Now here you are still standing and the next moment, you are gone. You are just a pile of ash.

That evening I stood by my bedroom window looking out to the forests on the hills nearby. I could hear the callings of the wild birds and perhaps a monkey or two, the crickets were singing somewhere in the bushes. The yellow moon was peeking out in between the shadows of the trees. The night was beautiful with gentle breeze.

I thought of my dad who passed away 6 years ago. And of the lady whom we paid the last respect for just hours earlier.

They could not have enjoyed the evening as I was as they were not here anymore.

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, ‘You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, ‘Yes!’ And Woman said, ‘I’ll have one too with chocolate chips’. And so they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, ‘Try my fresh green salad’. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said ‘I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them’.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man’s cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said ‘You want fries with that?’ and Man replied, ‘Yes, and super size ‘em’. And Satan said, ‘It is good.’ And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ……… and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ………… Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Send this to at least 14 friends in the next 60 minutes to receive absolutely nothing back and something good may not happen, but may, or then again may not, but who cares, cos it’s funny

Here endeth the Lesson.

I read with amusement and awe about how Kota Bahru’s municipal latest ban for the Muslim women’s employees not to wear lispticks and high heels which made a “tapping sound”. This, apparently to prevent incidents such as rape and illicit sex.

Read this amusing piece here.

Can these people explain the following:

• How a 13 month old baby in a small district was raped by 2 grown men and left to die?
• How a 9 year old girl, also somewhere in a small district was raped by a young man, had a 3 feet wood sticked to her anus, had her head bashed and left to die.
• A 15 year old girl was raped and murdered by 5 men and set her on fire. 
• Molest and rape case of a teenager by a bogus medium
• A father jailed for 45 years for raping and sodomizing his own underaged daughter.

I could go on and on and on about all of these sick rape cases happened in Malaysia, and if you had bother to notice, most are underaged. They are mere children who doesnt even know what sex is. By adding on the perception that women are responsible for men’s evil deeds are just a whole load of fucxxxg BS as fas as I can tell. Because men are adult enough to be responsible for their actions and thinking and social responsibilities.

Just because you are hungry you blame other people for not feeding you? Just because you are deprived of your sick sexual hunger, you blame other people for “persuading” you to do your evil deeds?

Lipsticks and high heels are not the main reason why people have illicit sex or invite rape.

Tell that to the parents whose children being raped and killed and they will tell you one thing or two that it wasnt the lipsticks and the high heels their children wore.

I know. I was a victim. And I sure wasnt wearing lipsticks and high heels too at 7 years of age.

Armpit sniffer gets jail in Singapore.

Ok, so not cool.

Ever seen or think what other people are doing and ponder how uncool/cool that person can be? I mean, sure, I have my own kinks of stuff that I wont show to mom or anyone else for that matter, but you know, sometimes, you just cant help BUT think of the followings:

Cool stuff

• Someone opens the door for you.
• The KFC staff smiles at you while you and your kid count downs the endless top-ups (side dishes)
• Someone waves a thank you when you give way to his car, on a hot day, right in the centre of horrible-route of Jalan Sultan Ismail, Kuala Lumpur city
• Your mechanic gives you 30% discount on quoted charges AND replaced your break lights for free
• Your mechanic sends your car for washing, for free.
• Your guy smells nice, all over. mmm……
• Your guy remembers the rubbers, your fav kind
• The receptionist/operator of a company greets you cheerfully on the phone, on Monday morning

The Not So Cool Stuff!

• You carry all these bags through the door and the bunch of men just simply look at you as if you can w ill the door to open by itself. Sure, I can always put down the bags and open the door myself but isnt chivalry is still alive?
• The Salesgirl in a boutique looks at you up and down and walks away. So Pretty Woman-esque situation.
• Someone pushes through his car in between the lanes without giving out any signals, and have the cheek to give you the dirty look.
• The guy youve been eyeing across the room sashays towards you and..you could smell his BO stinking high to heavens.
• A guy who is exactly like my header - he got jailed for sniffing pits. Ewwww……

As the title suggests, here are some of the garbages that goes in my spam box…..

• Your length and girth are astronomical
• Legendary tales of your sausage
• Do you want to enlarge your penis?
• Nothing beats a huge stick
• Unleash your fury
• Urgent transfer assistance (Nigerian scam, what else…)
• Be the master of the bed
• Your package is set to grow
• Make love in Jamaica with our singles
• And..of course the endless viagra pills ad..

Now, I neither have a dick nor do I want to make love in Jamaica with any singles, what are these people thinking? How do I explain to these people that the blue pills will not give me any erection as theres none to be “erected”?

The “transfer of fund assistance” will come in on daily basis and the writer will come in all sorts of names and the amount quoted will be sinfully be more than my digits could count.

Anyways, happy spam zapping, people! Ive just cleared mine!

I read with amusement about a news in msnbc.com how a US research base in Antartica had received their one year supply of condoms totalling to 16,500 for the usage of the 125 scientists and staff who are based there.

Rough calculation, that makes each person receives about 132 packets of rubbers, that turns out to be about 11 packets per month.

11 packets per month? Only? Unless you recycle them after each use OR you go celibate on most days, I cannot fanthom the consequences if you are on the “active” side.

Oh well, maybe you can just sauter to next bunker, and instead of borrowing a cup of sugar, you might say, ” Do you have extra pack that you can give me? “