Lyn – 3 months old.
I havent gone to the city for quite sometime now. The traffic is a pain especially during this rainy season. They say, ‘It takes a drop of rain to make a hell of traffic jam in KL”. I suppose this is true. Some of t
hese idiots KL-lites tend to lose their sense of direction (and humor) when this happens.
All the time.
Last nite was an exception. I drove to the city with Lyn to have a simple dinner. We went to Etoile, my all-time French bistro in Equatorial Hotel. Service still remains the same – good and unobstrusive. Food is great as always although I noticed a significant upped prices in most of the items.
Driving back home was surprisingly ……..peaceful. The City Council has put up fairy lights all along the main roads and they looked breathtakingly beautiful that I could not resist but to make a few stops and grabbed my digital cam.
Lyn and Alif goofing about in Etoile.
My favourite cup of coffee costs RM12.00 now.
Lyn’s burger. Notice the star-shaped bun. Unique.
The drive home.
Jalan Ampang just right after Zouk Club.
Entering Jalan Parlimen. The buildings along this road looks like Christmas trees!
DBKL building lighted up!
However, the traffic changed again the minute I entered into Taman Tun Dr Ismail area….sigh..bubble busted…
For those who are interested to see more of KL traffic , click here
Nasi Kandar Hameed – this was what my lunch looked like today. White rice, deep fried squids in batter, beef cooked in spices and thick soya sauce (daging masak hitam), pickled cucumber, papaddom and lotsa curry gravy.
For each spoon of rice, I could almost feel it slides down straight to my thighs and arse…..;-((
Yeap, a bunch of happy people now. Overdosed on nasi kandar.
Faris and Hanie
Faris and his buddy, Haseeb. Haseeb tucked into this gigantic prawns/tiger prawns (udang galah) to go with his nasi kandar and was mighty pleased with the result. The prawn itself cost RM18.00 (USD4.50) each.
Check out his Faris’s website at http://www.myspace.com/farismusicnet
Welcome back, Cousin! 😉
I had you in my womb for only over 4o weeks
When you decided to see the world and couldnt wait
Tiny bundle of joy at 2.2kg
No hair, cute pinkish toes for all the see!
The time flies and you will see
That the world is not all pretty and lacy
Like your collection of 100 over Barbie Doll
I wish I could protect you for eternity like a strong wall
“Be strong my girl”, I always say
God will always lead the way
To a better life, come what may
One fine day.
With all my love
(I know you peek in here sometimes)
So, she wants to fly back to KK and visit her daddy because she misses him.
“Oh? Really?” I asked her. I could see her twitching and fiddling with her hair, not looking at me and her lips slightly upturned, a surefire way of knowing that she was thinking of other things.
The plan is that she would fly in on the first week of December, spend a few days in KK with him by visiting the Philipina Market, her favourite place to eat bbq fish and the seaweeds. Then, to the Waterfront to get some foot massages.
She was one confused kid, my poor baby. It so breaks my heart everytime I see her in that mood. I know the real reason why she wanted to fly back – to meet Emily. She thinks that her daddy’s life has now revolved around this girl. And to make matters worse, she thinks that she is no longer her daddy’s Princess.
I wish that I could make her understand more that certain things in life cannot be dealt with in a confrontational way, or by hurting someone physically. It will not work. This is what she has in mind. And I know she’s capable of doing that.
Definition 1: Oppression – is the negative outcome experienced by people targeted by the biased exercise of power in a society or social group. It is particularly closely associated with nationalism and derived social systems, wherein identity is built by antagonism to the other. The term itself derives from the idea of being “weighted down.”
Definition 2: Oppression – 1 a: unjust or cruel exercise of authority or power b: something that oppresses especially in being an unjust or excessive exercise of power2: a sense of being weighed down in body or mind : depression
I have been closely following articles on the case of the 19 year old girl who was kidnapped and raped in Saudi. She was subsequently found guilty of being in the presence of non-muhrim and was sentenced to 200 lashes. The sentence was increased after the victim spoke out to the press.
Kidnapped, gang-raped then sentenced to 200 lashes?
They might have just hanged her to death and it will still be a parody of justice. And maybe a better place for her to be in her death than being subjected to such humiliation and degradation of the viliest nature while she is still alive.
While some may (and had been a heated debate subject among my friends recently) argued that the religion has made the women more liberated than before, but I find this titilliting towards the need for these people to justify their actions to control their women. Simply because they need to stroke their super-ego, their need to show macho-ism and all of these are done in the disguise of their own intepretation of the holy religion.
Now, I have been brought up in a conservative Malay environment where the majority of people who lived in the village worked the paddy fields, tap rubbers or toiled the farm. We were miles away from the nearest town and the nearest non Malays lived in Sg Ruan which was about 10 miles away. Malays in Malaysia are Muslims by default. I have studied the holy Quran, which was a norm in almost every household in the village.
I am no artsy modern girl and I have always kept that certain conservative-ism so as for me not to forget my roots. From my observations in my own environment, I tend to believe that certain interpretations of the religion were also based on the intepreters’ own cultural background.
Feeling very lucky that I am nowhere living in a place that practices such oppressive ways towards its women, I can never rest on my laurel as I see some small sentiments are just creeping in for the past few years, no thanks to certain segment of the religious fanaticals who hails from the East Coast, but who have no qualms about crossing the border to enjoy some gratification of a definitely un-Islamic nature.
Ok, maybe the heading does not really convey what I have in mind to blog about today but then, considering my current state of mind, it may not be too far.
What does it take for a woman to bail out from a failed Muslim marriage in Malaysia?
Well, looking at what I am going through at the moment, I must say? A lot.
According to the Malaysia’s Syariah Law, there are four types of of divorce, vis**;
- Divorce by mutual agreement – This type of divorce is simple and straightforward. If the husband utters these words to his wife, “I hereby divorce you”, in clear terms, the marriage is automatically revoked, with or without his wife’s agreement. The power of divorce by utterance – talak – is in the husband’s hands.
- Divorce due to breach of contract of marriage by the husband – The wife makes the application for divorce. There is no requirement for her to submit a declaration signed before a Commissioner For Oaths. However, the application form containing relevant particulars is to be accompanied by a Statement of Claim. The content of the Statement should be focused on the applicant’s (who is the Plaintiff) background and the husband (who is the Defendant), the allegation on the nature of the terms that have been breached. Dates and times of such breaches of contract are also included to make the case stronger. Of course the terms that have been breached must be specifically stated in the Statement of Claim.
Divorce by redemption – This type of divorce is based on mutual agreement on the amount of money the wife would have to pay her spouse.
Dissolution of marriage on grounds of neglect and cruelty – This is the most common type of application received by the court, due to cruelty and neglect which are not stated in the marriage contract.
Now, all of these laws were formulated clearly so as to not put the womenfolks in a very disadvantaged position and to enable them bailing out from a marriage they clearly do not want to be a part of anymore.
Now, lets talk about the implementation of the divorce ruling itself. As much as I hate to say this out loud (or otherwise I will again be labelled as the woman who kicks a fuss and being an un-Islamic wife), I have yet to see where all these are helping me out during the transition time of hubby making up his mind to which one law he wants to agree upon.
It does not matter than within this transition period, he can state that the wife cannot go out from the marital home, he also has the freedom to re marry another three wives and the first wife cant even be seen talking to another guy lest she will be considered engkar (disobeyed) and man…you dont want to be caught in this situation.
How can you not walk out from the marital home when you need to work, get money to pay for the kids and do grocery shopping? No camel on earth will walk to the front door and feed you milk.
Even an ass will know that. Forgive my pun.
Soooo……………what to do?
Till the lawyers can manage to serve him properly with the papers again.
** credit – www.ehomemakers.net
Lyn and I were in Uptown just a few days back when one of her friends came by and whispered something to her. She quickly picked up her mobile and started quick-dialling. A few seconds passed, nothing, and she was shaking her head.
I asked her, why?
And she said, a friend of hers ran away from home. And she looked terribly upset. An hour later, the friend she tried to speed dialled returned her call. Calmly, she asked the friend of her whereabout, was she ok? Has she eaten? Who was she with? All the right questions. More noddings in between injected with “yes, yes I understand“s. Finally, just before she hang up the conversation, Lyn told the friend, “Whatever you do, please call me as I want you to know that you have a friend who will listen to you. And please go home now. Your mom is sick worried”.
I was very proud of my daughter.
You see, she was there before. Twice.
The first time she decided that she wanted “to take a break from home and to gather her thoughts” was when she just hit 14. It was during the year end school holidays. One Saturday morning I woke up and found her gone from home. Apparently, the same evening she called a few friends to pick her up.
Two days after frantic searches around her friends’ places and calling some ten gadzillion people, police stations included, she called and said she wanted to come back. She got bored staying out. Her hair felt greasy, she said. And, she missed her bed and her cats.
The second episode was sometime last year. It was over some male friend issues. I didnt see it coming. Neither did her father. A day just before her father’s birthday in April, she called a friend of mine. Said she wanted to come home and celebrate her father’s birthday. Same afternoon, the three of us got together somewhere at the mall, and it was an emotional reunion of sort. One thing was because, I had missed her terribly. Worried too.
We sat down, and talked over issues. I was coming to terms over my own thinking over the entire episode. I realised that I was a teenager before and coming from a broken home, I should have seen them coming. But, I didnt. I was too engrossed in the daily living and fixing other things. And I wasnt communicating with her on her own level.
I also realised I had my own baggages from my teenage years that I wasnt able to sort out.
Reflecting back, I can see how I was in my teenage years in her. Fiercely independant, street smart but somewhat lacking in wholesome family loving.
And I should have seen things coming.
I am hooked on anything tomatoes for past few weeks. Tomato soup. Tomato salad. I even add ketchup in my ayam Maggie Mee! Go figure.
I figured if I had piled on eveything I like on one big plate of salad, it would make the best salad in the entire world. It has got to have tomatoes (of course), some garden greens. I am spoilt for choice with the dressing. Should I go with French, Italian, Caeser or Thousand Island? I like to add some sort of meat into my salad as well. Choices are varied. It could well be smoked salmon, tuna or chicken.
Yesterday, I fashioned one big plate of garden greens salad, heaped 2 well chilled, neatly sliced Holland Tomatoes , and the piece de resistance were these big slices of Teriyaki Roasted Chicken Breast. I snapped a few pictures to be unloaded here in the blog but my card reader was playing tricks and……………all the pictures were gone. Thats right. They just disappeared.
I woke up this morning, with a vengeance, more salad today for brunch. But no Teriyaki Roasted Chicken. How?
Remembered I bought a packet of chicken luncheon a few days ago and decided to ease my meat craving using that in the salad Im going to fashion today.
Basic ingredients that went in today were:
- 2 well chilled Holland Tomatoes (I like mine a little unripened), sliced
- 1 head, Romaine lettuce, chilled – shredded into bite sizes
- 1 egg – coddled
- Chicken luncheon – sliced (and in this case, I had mine about 150gm of Ayamadu’s Chicken Luncheon)
Topped with my favourite Kraft’s Thousand Island, I was one happy woman tucking away on the salad while watching the morning news.
So, heres the result! By the way, the Thousand Island won today to Caeser’s.