So, the deed is done months back and you think you are ready for dates again, and maybe another round of romance. Or, are you, I mean, really?
How would you know that you are really ready and wont fall into the ditch of a rebound relationship? The average so-called grieving period for someone who had ended a relationship, I was told, is about a year before you actually plunge yourself into another relationship. But , really, what is the cut-off period? Is is from the actual break up, or from date of official divorce? And one year?? Come on. Who set this thing up?
Some people have become the master at hiding their emotions and inner turmoil that people actually doesnt know they are in the process of grieving over a failed relationships. They still sound the same, look the same or maybe look even better, so, what gives? The leaner and slimmer look might have been brought by losing the appetite to eat after the break up. Such a workable diet that is but not necessarily a healthy one.
A friend of mine wrote an email to me recently and he told me this – to keep check over my emotion because the first comfy shoulder to lean on will be very attractive. What wise words.
When you have been the other half of a couple for a few good years, there are a few things that could shake you badly when the relationship ends. For instance, the loneliness might be a bit too much when the evening comes. The human interaction, physical connection and sexual release might be another area that seems to be amplified whenever you let your mind wander a little more than it should. Sometimes you need hugs whenever there is a thunderstorm or just a simple cuddle while watching the tv in the evening.
“He is more caring than my ex”, or “She understands me better than my ex”. Sounds familiar? Do you still cry whenever you hear “your song”? Feeling depressed when you eat in the same restaurant that you spent the last anniversary at?
How would you know that you are in a rebound relationship? A few things that you need to have a reality-check are these:
do you still feel the terrible pain and hurt, endlessly over the last failed relationship?
do you keep comparing and analysing the current relationship to the previous one?
do you have a mental block to really give “your all” in this new relationship for fear of getting hurt again?
If you have said “yes” to any of the above, then perhaps you should take it easy before committing something you might regret later on. Those regrets, as what I have witnessed, including a lady friend who decided to tie the knots three months after the ink on the divorce paper dried up, proceeded to get pregnant and then six months down the road found the marriage incompatible.
However, rebound relationships may not be all that bad. It is actually a process all together. A process to heal and be healed. To bring back the self esteem, to feel loved and wanted again. To be with oneself again. Some sort of a life discovery of new and re discovering old forgotten feelings that was buried in the depth of the old relationships.
Sometimes, you may find your self again and maybe your true love at the end. The trick is to take your time and enjoy the journey.