Poly Life


Ok, I admit it.

I have been a lurker for past few weeks in a few blogs posted by polyamorous living people/couples of out of curiosity. And, until todate, I cannot comprehend and digest the way of life these people are living.

Call it selfish but I cannot and will not share my life and my partner with some other people. The thought of my partner having sex with someone else and me being sooooo okay with it is just too much for me to bring into the picture. The thought of him being soooooo okay with me boinking another guy is also not okay. Okay? Those intimate stuff are only meant for me and him, and noone elses.

I read with sickness in my gut how a wife actually helped the husband making out with his girlfriend, and she feeling so left out in the act. By  the way, did I also mentioned that she was all the while sitting in between his legs while the girlfriend moaned and bounced on his yahoo? Each blog gets more depressing and more depressing as if they are like a cry for help.

First and foremost, unless you are into three-some or whatchamacallit fetish, I dont see any reason why on earth :

a) she should be helping them both

b) how the husband can be sooooo ignorant of his wife’s feelings

Some of you may say that it is ok to lead this kind of life as it doesnt encourage cheating in that primary relationship so it doesnt constitute cheating. Huh? Some of you may also argue that in certain religion such as Islam it actually encourages polygamy as to curb wandering spouses (i.e. husbands). Ok, fine, argument heard.

But, it never says anywhere that the primary partners should also be subjected to humiliations, pain, heart break, jealousy and all those feelings which are supposedly normal feelings in a relationship.

I will feel a jealousy pang if (when I have a partner) my partner have some sexual arousal when thinking or even looking at other females. Is this because I am repressed of my feelings? Nope. Am I not being a confident woman? Nope. Am I feeling inadequate? Nope. Infact so far, touch wood, no complaint in that err…department but I digress. Am I being possesive. Yes. I am possesive over my books, my cats, my house, my car, my laptop but all in different level of possessiveness. He can fantasise all he wants but should just stop there – in his brain. If he cant handle his sexual needs and need more than only me to satisfy this, then he doesnt deserve to be in my life.

There was once when my ex (then husband) and I were into our first year of marriage life. We talked about scenarios how I would handle the situation if he takes second (or third or fourth) wife. I told him that his rights as a husband to complete the corum has been provided for in the religion and he can do so if he wishes.

But I also told him, I will take myself out from the equation so as not to complicate matters.

Fast forward 17 years in 2007, I found myself doing exactly that – taking myself out from the equation so as not to complicate matters. I did exactly what I had said , and never regretted it.

Life is complicated enough than me having to address an orgy issue in a bedroom.

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One Reply to “Poly Life”

  1. Interesting topic- threesomes (or how many somes)- as I usually say, spare me the details…yes, Along, you know my favourite phrase! But for a wife or husband wanting (with consent) to experience pleasure with another person, it should be thoroughly discuss as with the rampant of AIDS and etc… and other further complications to the relationship. For details of readers out there, maybe you guys should see the series ‘Friends’ where the character Ross has sex with his wife and another woman and his wife decides that she is a lesbian.

    Perhaps all of this occurrences are due to the pressures of life, or non-existance of it. Perhaps it’s due to the low self-esteem that one experiences with his/her partner and the need for security is overwhelming.

    I cannot say for myself as I am still single & unmarried, but that does not stop me from admiring those gorgeous looking fellows =). But all I can say for those who love their spouses/ bfs/ gfs/ whatever… just examine what really triggered the thought in the first place and reflect that life is all not about what happens in the room- sorry if I sound like Dr Phill.

    Anyways, singles, widows, widowers, divorcees, etc… just be real and do your thing. Whatever makes you happy.

    Cheers!

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