I havent met JLoh for a few months but maintained close contact with her via phone. She called me on the eve of my birthday last month and we had a long phone chat, giggling like teenagers exchanging bedtime stories.

Somehow, last Saturday night, we decided to make a date to see each other after she finishes work at a local 5-star hotel. Supper was noodle soup and a few rounds of teh tarik at Kampung Bharu. Finally conversation steered towards our current love lives and family.

At this age and with a teenager in tow, I told her, that I really dont have time to play mind games neither I can afford to play the “game” way too many times. Its just so time consuming, energy draining and, confusing. I have always been comfortable in making out plans ahead of time so that I can gauge where I am when the time arrives. The companion and partner that I am looking for should be able to handle my emotional needs and is a free man on paper. The checklist is rather long too.

Yet, I related to her, my current beau, The Seafarer, has challenged me with my own rules and boundaries and I started to question everything up to the point of me not enjoying the courtship anymore. So, over the third teh tarik I even mentioned vaguely about doing SWOT analysis on this relationship! Whats the ROI and should I draw up a KPI as well while I am at it?

Hmmm…okay, this is getting crazier by the day.

JLoh was right. I didnt give this relationship a fighting chance. I was too busy gauging the end result and not enjoying the process or the journey. She said, stop for a while and smell the roses. Cross the bridge when you arrive and not before as you dont know when you will reach there. But thats the problem, I want so badly to plan my journey so I can know when I will reach the bridge.



4 Replies to “Crossroads”

  1. As the daughter of a woman who has found love, and married a man she met online, I’d have to say that sometimes, online relationships do work.

    She did have to go through a few not-so-great guys before meeting her current husband, but she seems really happy now. (He’s an American btw)

    I guess I just wanted to say, good luck. And, like your friend says, slow down and just enjoy the courtship.

  2. Stephanie, I am glad to hear that your mom has found love again. Sometimes it is not easy for the children to accept that their mother is also a human being who needs some TLC and vulnerable. They are just not God. What was your first reaction when your mom first dated out?

  3. She dated quite a bit before she met this guy, but I only met two of them (and one is currently her husband). I guess maybe she decided to only let me meet guys she was serious about, which is a good thing. Because I think if she’d brought home many men I would’ve thought quite differently about her haha.

    I didn’t know exactly when she started dating, but prior to that, she did sit down to talk to me, one on one. She basically explained to me that in life, everyone just wants to be happy, and everyone deserves happiness. And I understood that, and I really did want her to be happy again (even though the divorce did take a toll on me, and I was quite upset about it for a while). So I guess at the end of the day, I was okay with her dating again, and trying to find love.

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