17 And Trapped In A Soon-To-Be Arranged Marriage

Over my usual late teh tarik last night with my teenager, she told me of her friend, K who ran away with his girfriend recently, that they will be married after the girl’s final SPM end of this year. I am not quite sure what is the local statistics of arranged marriage for young people in the country but I do know that the percentage of divorce rates for Malays who got married in their young age has increased significantly for the last few years.

I probed deeper the reasons these two are getting married and my teenager said that both sides of the parents have agreed to this arrangement. It seems that the girl’s parents have deemed her “spoilt” and thus it is apt enough for her to be married off to the boy who did her. As for the boy’s side, in their mind, this arranged marriage with the girl will curb his naughty ways.

I like to look from a different perspective on this issue. Not necessarily from religious point of view as every religion will eventually preach you on sex before marriage. No, you will get that from everyone else. I am thinking of how these two will have to brave the world, in all their young ages and not even equipped to even fend for themselves. What sort of life would this marriage will bring to these two?

The boy is hardly a man himself and considered not so “up there” academically. He failed in his last SPM results and is now jobless. I have a term for this phase – he cant even pee straight yet” phase, which is true. How can he be in a committed marriage like this, a partnership that even he cant understand and hes being thrown into a situation where he doesnt even know where he is heading?

Could the girl’s parents decided to throw her into this situation as to “saving face” because now she has become “a spoilt good” and that she has no value as a person? As a minor who is hardly 17, she cant even vote yet, cant even make a proper decision for even herself and her family is practically putting her in a situation where eventually, I feel, as if washing their hands and turning away from the real issues.

Saving face is pretty much part of being an Asian but here we are talking about the future of two teenagers who just did what teenagers do.

Dont the parents have some concious as well as these two are their own products?


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