Once in a while we all have fallen into “the trap” of dating men that we like but not necessarily good for our hearts. Maybe they are some great physical attractions there and we all ended up having great weekend hook-ups but left with emptiness when its time to go home. I wouldnt even go there. Sometimes, we kept on dating these men eventhough at the end of the day we knew from the start the relationships will end us down the drain and hurting us. Some women are just plain suckers for pain!
I have compared notes with friends who are single and those who are single moms and it seems that the list is almost always the same.
Lets have a look at them, and in no particular order of “keep away at 100 km radius” category:
Category 1 – Married men – I would vote this one as topping the list. You meet them while transit at the airport, chatting up to them at the bar over a few wines, bumped into them a few times during lunch. Your exchanged glances stayed too long. Smiles locked from across the tables. You took a sneak peek at the finger for the “ring test”. No ring. Great, you thought. Nope. Do not be deceived. The Ring Test is merely a preliminary test. You need to grind more questions and pry more to make sure he is really single and available. Some married men do not wear rings at all. And they look single and available. They even act single and available. They even go further by telling you that you can call them anytime of the day to prove that they are not with anyone that resembles a GF or a wife.
Or they just simply tell you that they are married, not happy and they are looking for companionship. The ball is in your court. Do you ping them back? Make a quick escape? Well, Girlfriends, I am telling you, the minute The Married Man got caught by the wife and threatens with child custody, he will leave you faster than the lightning.
Category 2 – Separated men – same as Category 1 but not quite. This is a man who has just found his freedom and looking for companionship, without the guilt of a married man. I will point out that it is not necessary bad to date men who are separated, but ask all the “important” questions, like, how long ago was he separated? Is this separation temporary, or just waiting for courts papers to clear the hurdle? I have dated a man who was divorced for 4 whole years. He has 2 sons who inherits his good looks and personality. Things went quite well till the year end came and he and his ex wife decided to get back together. What a luck. The Separated Guy can be fun to be with and may even lead to a satisfaying relationships provided he is letting go of his past baggages and is open to new love and relationships again.
Category 3 – men who is mentally and physically abusive – Yea. Definitely another chart topper. He will undermine your capabilities and abilities. He picks your dresses, choose what to order from the menu, rough you around, has no respect towards your wish, picks on your opinions and basically just make you feel like shit. But you stayed on, hoping and wishing that towards the end of the day, he will change because he loves you. Because you gave him access to sex when he wants, how he wants them. Mr Abusive will not change. It is ingrained in every bit of his soul that it is okay to treat women like so. And if he had a son, he will demonstrate to him that it is okay to treat women like that as well because women deserve it. And the patten runs.
So, ladies. There you are. 3 categories of men that you should not date. If you did, enter at your own peril. Dont say I didnt warn you.