3 Categories Of Men You Should Not Date

Once in a while we all have fallen into “the trap” of dating men that we like but not necessarily good for our hearts. Maybe they are some great physical attractions there and we all ended up having great weekend hook-ups but left with emptiness when its time to go home. I wouldnt even go there.  Sometimes, we kept on dating these men eventhough at the end of the day we knew from the start the relationships will end us down the drain and hurting us. Some women are just plain suckers for pain!

I have compared notes with friends who are single and those who are single moms and it seems that the list is almost always the same.

Lets have a look at them, and in no particular order of “keep away at 100 km radius” category:

Category 1 – Married men – I would vote this one as topping the list. You meet them while transit at the airport, chatting up to them at the bar over a few wines, bumped into them a few times during lunch. Your exchanged glances stayed too long. Smiles locked from across the tables. You took a sneak peek at the finger for the “ring test”. No ring. Great, you thought. Nope. Do not be deceived. The Ring Test is merely a preliminary test. You need to grind more questions and pry more to make sure he is really single and available. Some married men do not wear rings at all. And they look single and available. They even act single and available. They even go further by telling you that you can call them anytime of the day to prove that they are not with anyone that resembles a GF or a wife.

Or they just simply tell you that they are married, not happy and they are looking for companionship. The ball is in your court. Do you ping them back? Make a quick escape? Well, Girlfriends, I am telling you, the minute The Married Man got caught by the wife and threatens with child custody, he will leave you faster than the lightning.

Category 2 – Separated men – same as Category 1 but not quite. This is a man who has just found his freedom and looking for companionship, without the guilt of a married man. I will point out that it is not necessary bad to date men who are separated, but ask all the “important” questions, like, how long ago was he separated? Is this separation temporary, or just waiting for courts papers to clear the hurdle? I have dated a man who was divorced for 4 whole years. He has 2 sons who inherits his good looks and personality. Things went quite well till the year end came and he and his ex wife decided to get back together. What a luck. The Separated Guy can be fun to be with and may even lead to a satisfaying relationships provided he is letting go of his past baggages and is open to new love and relationships again.

Category 3 – men who is mentally and physically abusive – Yea. Definitely another chart topper. He will undermine your capabilities and abilities. He picks your dresses, choose what to order from the menu, rough you around, has no respect towards your wish, picks on your opinions and basically just make you feel like shit. But you stayed on, hoping and wishing that towards the end of the day, he will change because he loves you. Because you gave him access to sex when he wants, how he wants them. Mr Abusive will not change. It is ingrained in every bit of his soul that it is okay to treat women like so. And if he had a son, he will demonstrate to him that it is okay to treat women like that as well because women deserve it. And the patten runs.

So, ladies. There you are. 3 categories of men that you should not date. If you did, enter at your own peril. Dont say I didnt warn you.

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Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know
there is not enough money in the account already?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars in the sky, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but he ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
try?

How do those dead insects get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping trolley then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s
all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That
hurt, you stupid idiot?”

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE…. ..
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Equal Rights Of Muslim Women In Malaysia Questioned.

I have been a long advocate of equality of women in general and Muslim women in specific. I have written blogs and participated in various blog-dialogues quoting many examples from reliable sources on this subject as well.

Having a daughter at home, Lyn has been raised in an environment where she can always come to either me or her father for advice, and that she can go the distant if she wants to. She can go to the highest mountain or cross the biggest ocean because it is there. I have been raised the same and both of my parents have instilled, in their own ways that if I believe I could achieve something, I will.

Not too long ago I have written about oppression of women . Time and again I have expressed that many of the laws contained within the current Muslim world were the works of men who believes that only patriachial ways is the only way to go to control their women. These men are hiding behind the religion and so when the words are spread, the whole entire universe believe it is the religion itself is patriachial.

Zainah Anwar, a founder of Sisters In Islam which is a women’s advocacy group has written numerous articles on the unjust of the current Muslim law in Malaysia that discriminates the womenfolks. Her article – Unjust And Unnecessary  – has fueled so many hearts to speak out including me.

With a new century arrived, I wonder whether the progression that I see around me can be balanced off with equally bad discriminatory law? Is this justice?

When I got divorced from my ex, it was understood that whatever we have earned within the marriage will have to be divided equally between both parties. But, in the event that he dies before the distribution, his share will be shared with his siblings, mother and far away relatives. His daughter will only get one-eigth. Does many Muslim men in this country realises that they can bequeth their portion to their daughters so that they are well protected in the event of their death?

I recalled many years before when he and I bought our very first property and was in the lawyer’s office together with his friend. I brought up the issue of an additional agreement that in the event of my death, my portion will be bequethed straight to my daughter and same goes for his as well. I have no son from this marriage and my daughter will not be so much be protected to gain what is by right solely hers in the event of untimely death of one of us. The friend could not agree to my request, telling me how I have embarassed my (then) husband infront of the lawyer and that it was unreasonable of me to think that my husband (and his parents and siblings) will not take care of my daughter if I were to kick the bucket first.

I told him that if I were dead, I cant do much to protect Lyn as I will be 6 feet down under and being eaten as a buffet feast to all sorts of creepy crawlies. BUT, this agreement will. See how narrow minded he was?

 No wonder his wife left him too.

I Just Discovered Facebook

Duh me.

Facebook has been here for such a long time and only now I really have gotten myself into this thing. It used to be Myspace and Friendster. I deleted my Friendster account after getting sick so many times looking at my ex (then husband’s) page full of scantily clad girls blowing him kisses thanking him for his messages and counting on how many “funny” groups he had registered himself with.

I still keep my Myspace account eventhough I am beginning to have doubt on the kind of people who lurks in there nowadays. I have received “invites” from young men to have secret rendezvous to all the too-familiar Nigerian scammers who have all the tell-tales of cut-and-paste profiles and blurry images.

Facebook, in a way has so many utilities thats just waiting to be explored. At first, they all seem so childish and innocent. You poke someone, send another a bunch of growing flowers and send gifts to friends. But then I realised, there are always the inner child in every person and this site has provided that. Not mentioning of course there are other applications in the site to cater to the “sexy” minds, but hey, we are all adults.

I am totally hooked!

Ok, people, have fun poking.

Women Are From Venus, Men Are Clueless

Numerous stories, tips and books have been written about the differences of these two species – man and woman – since ten gadzillion years ago. Most probably, during the neatherdal time, they even scribbled on the walls of their caves their own stories out of stones and sticks.

Women are all peaches and candies, strawberries and honey, cotton candy and sweet. They perspire and not sweat. Men..well, are just not any of the above.

Now, why did I picked on the word clueless today? Simply because I need to rant a tad about how some men are just plain clueless about treating women and they wonder why the women keep on running away from them.

Take a simple situation. Going out on a date.

  • For God’s sake, please pick up a decent place to go for dinner. A&W may offer you a whole range of burgers and fried chicken. They even throw in curly fries and upped your drinks to large if you pay additional 99 sens. But, this is a date. I do take all the pain to put on a nice dress and waxed and err..ok I digress here. But the bottom line is, woman do take great pride in dressing up to go somewhere but not A&W.
  • Deodorants were not created to look great on the shelves of the pharmacies. They are there for a purpose. And I can throw you plenty of reasons why too.
  • Get comfortable ironing those shirt. I mean, here I am stepping out from my house wearing something nice (see the pattern here?) and you arrived in crumpled shirt? Leave that “The Only Thing My Dad Got In London For Me Was This Tshirt” t shirt at home.
  • When we are sitting at the table and the waiter brings in two menus, they are meant to be read by two people. That means you and I are suppose to flip through the menu and we choose what we like. Not you order for me.
  • Dinner is suppose to be spent eating and exchanging stories. Yours and mine. Dont assume that I dont get enough of your chiropractic stories who tried to fix your back after you did some weird positions with your last GF. Honestly? I dont want to know.
  • Telling me allllllllllll about your ex GF. REALLY NOW. I DONT WANT TO KNOW.
  • I have a friend who coined a term – courtesy call – right after ..you know, had a booty call or a hook up somewhere. Ms J firmly believes that a man can still be a gentleman and not a cad in a girl’s mind long after the spermicide is washed and rubbers are thrown. All he needs to do is to check whether she has arrived home safely or just a quick call telling how enjoyable the evening was.
  • Being a single mom can be a tad tricky in the dating game. A single mom with a teenager who likes to know with whom she goes out with in a bit harder too. I prefer to be upfront with my new friend that I do have to pick her up at certain hour and that house visits will not be in the agenda, at all. So far no issue there. But unfortunately I do have some friends  whose new guys just doesnt see the rationale or the morale behind the no-visit-when-kids-are-around rule.
  • I have written about this big no-no again and again. Men. Take heed! Do not undress another woman with your eyes when you go out with your woman. Sure, the sways of the hips and the perfume are irresistable but keep the urging to the minimum level. Masturbate before going out if you must so that you dont look like a cad.
  • Call it conservative. I really dont care. But I do believe that men should be picking up the tab on the first date. Not that I mind picking it up later on during subsequent meet, if I feel its worth for a second date.

Sigh.

No, mustnt give up. Thats for sure. But its like. You know. Looking for a pin in a haystack. Maybe I should use metal detector instead? hmmmmmm