First Ramadhan


Today marks the first day of Ramadhan for the many billions of Muslims all over the world, and it also marks the first time of Ramadhan where Lyn and I will spend it only with the two of us.

Good thing about today is that it was the 51st Independance Day  that fell yesterday and by default make today a public holiday for the entire nation. On the eve of Merdeka, I was at the movie with a friend, watching Wall E The Movie and when movie ended we decided to take a short drive to Hartamas area for some late supper of lamb kebab and pizza at Souled Out. The evening ended on a great note indeed. Food in Souled Out is never a let down!

Thinking out loud, breaking fast this time this year around together during weekdays with the teenager might prove a little bit tricky as I finish work at 6pm and I dont think driving back through the enourmous traffic jam back towards Damansara Utama from Bangsar will help things. But, I promised her I will try my best.

I have observed a few key milestones for the past few weeks that lead up to this first Ramadhan and they are, with no doubt good ones. It is as if God has decided to make all the forces aligned and make things better.

First, I am thankful with the new job I landed myself in. It has given me a new lease of life so to speak.

Second, my mom and my sister have finally moved to a new place and I see this as a good thing for they need to get themselves rooted for good and settle down in one place.

Third, I have found to which direction my heart goes…….. (more on this as time goes by)

My ex have decided to dispose of the restaurant in KK. This, marked another milestone. The sadness is indescribable to see all the efforts that went towards it earlier is now no longer there and no longer mine. A hard fact that I must embrace, no doubt. He also announced that he had broken up with his 21 year old girlfriend. Hmmmmm, something that I had expected to happen earlier…

Well, heres a good one to all good things to come!!


The Meaning Of Freedom

What freedom means to me may mean differently to the lady who stands next to me, or to the teenager who sits across me eating her yong tau fu in the cafe, or to the couple who sits across to each other at the corner end.

To my daughter, freedom means having the weekend without school activities. It also means that she has been trusted to reverse the car from the car lot and drive out till the junction out of the condo complex. Freedom to her means having to pick and choose what to wear without me being a nagging mom and to stay late on weekends. To my cats, maybe, it means having the front portion of the hall and just chilling in the morning sun. At least thats my observation. They just refuse to move their lazy butts away even when I am vacumming the floor.

Freedom to some people may also mean when the wives are away back home to their kampungs, or when the bosses are away, when parents are out of the house or when you can safely shed off your clothings to the floor and feel liberated without even an ounce of threat that clings to your body..

Some countries are free and sovereign but still struggling with independance from outside force to navigate their economics into the new century. They dont have the basic economic and political structure to do on their own. Others, may feel that they have the right ingredients and genetic make up in their social and political policies that they enforce ther brand and understanding of freedom to other smaller and weaker countries. They didnt realise that with freedom of speech, or freedom of this and that comes with greater responsibilities. Sometimes, when freedom may be a strong word in speech and paper, when in actual truth the mind and spirit are not free.

Businesses thrive on in Malaysia. MNC’s are still opening up their regional hubs in the country with more GLCs created every other month and other smaller local companies competing with each other for a piece of the economic pie. Some industries may say this is their glorious period of all where their annual quarter are met by first quarter of the year. Again, another form of meaning of freedom to the sales and marketing department as they now can have anything they desire.

Freedom to me now means having the option to do anything that my heart desire, and yet mature enough to have that little restrain not to execute stupid moves in life. Its kind of liberating knowing the fact that its okay to drive out at 3 am on a weekend for a teh tarik at the nearby mamak shop without having to ask anyone. Or to wear whatever I wish without having been subjected to morale police checking the length of my skirt. Or something like that. This also means that I am free and able to vote and play a role in deciding the country’s mosaic of political decisions  which leads at how the future of the country are being formulated at policy level. This also determines the future of my child who will be here, graduate from school and moves on with her adult life.

As a simple Jane who has a day job, I really dont know the real inner workings of the intricate political worlds are being run though I bet my mom will have a field day explaining them all after spending most of her life in it. But there you go, thats the meaning of freedom. It comes with its own nuances and intepretation. Do you have the basic inner structure to realised the true meaning of freedom? Only you yourself can answer that as only you can create the meaning and what it really means to you.

Life is actually good here. I am not complaining much. So, here goes – Selamat Hari Merdeka, Malaysia!!

Another Passing Of Our Fur Baby

One of our favourite fur babies passed on this morning. Mama Petite was not feeling well recently and had been very clingy and quiet, so unlike her usual self.

All my love baby, and you know theres plenty of your favourite tuna there across the Rainbow Bridge.

Moving On With Life

I have been re reading some of my earlier writings earlier today, and realised that I have come a long way since I first started my blog as a theraeutic session to ease my troubling mind. The first entry I did was on 24 July 2007, and that makes me a one-year-old blogger.

Wow! How time flies.

A few key issues that used to dominate my writings has since evolved into something more focussed. They no longer focus on the pains of going through bad relationships or post divorce trauma. No longer confined to the painful observation of seeing how my teenager went through the ups and downs of realising that the home she used to know is no longer what it was. That there  will be two homes for her now.

I have definitely moved on. And it feels so liberating to know that I have pulled out from the angst of despair. The place we live now is a home again despite there was no ample land as the old rambling house in Taman Tun was. Lyn has grown from a sad teenager to a tough cookie and I am very proud of her. She keeps her emotion checks now better more than ever. We travel a bit now over the weekends – to the beach mostly and just basically enjoying the life more than it was.

The challenge is to face the Ramadhan and the Aidil Fitri soon, which is just around the corner.