What Joy!!

  1. Prepare your wallet, credit card, debit card, charge card.
  2. Save your energy.
  3. Look for comfortable shoes and line up your comfortable attire.

Ikea sales starts from tomorrow,  26 February 2009.

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And, Here He Is.

Ok, here he is.

The much anticipated of The Man who makes me feel like 17 again. Funny how love zooms across the cyberspace, without paying any regard to creed, race, skin colour, religion, age, distance, time zone, zip code and choice of ice cream. (He likes chocolate and I like vanilla, plain, thank you). We are a terrible match at the kind of movie to watch. He doesnt mind chic flick and comedy. I will get excited over some dark thriller, although thank God, we both agree that Star Trek would save the day. He peeves if the toilet paper rolls underneath instead of over. I, on the other hand, really dont care.

He recites verses of the Quran better than I do. I speak better Malay than he does although I must admit I fare better on this one as he is just learning a few words. He speaks better French but of course that is simply because I dont speak a word of this language. Of course, we speak in English to each other but he writes better. ..

Oh yes. He drives on the wrong side of the road. He also said that I drive on the wrong side of the road. Cant win on this one.

I want to experience the Artic and -40C. He wants to stroll on a nice sunny day on the beach.

And yet, here we are.

And so, family and friends, here is George Mohammed B.

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Monday Morning: A Thought

How all the other passions fleet to air,
As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embraced despair,
And shuddering fear, and green-eyed jealousy! O love,
Be moderate; allay thy ecstasy,
In measure rein thy joy; scant this excess.
I feel too much thy blessing: make it less,
For fear I surfeit.

~ Portia – The Merchant Of Venice, 1600

A Double Whammy

The case of Bukit Lanjan’s Assemblywoman Eli Wong has drawn so much attention nationwide. Knowing how kay poh we Malaysians are, I am not surprised that these interests are not about who will fill in the empty seat but more of a keen interest to know what is inside the much talked about photos.

I dont know Eli Wong personally and I dont vote in her constitution. I also really dont care which political party she represents. But, what I do know is that she is a victim of a person whom she had once trusted, if the rumors of her ex boyfriend, Hilmi Malek, was the culprit proved to be right. The public was also quick to assassinate her character and suddenly everyone has become the expert in this woman’s life.

Shame on you people!

This is the same thing as in telling a woman who had been raped that she had asked for it and that it was her fault the the rapist did his deed. Her very privacy had been invaded. Her life as a politician has always been a public life but give her some decency and dignity as a human being to have what is left of her personal life.

Following after the news break in the media, a few politicians were called for comments but, just as how the reactions were expected, they pledge that was a sensitive issue and they did not wish to make any comment. Why cant they say something smarter? Or, is the “no comment” a smarter thing to say to protect their own backs?

An Anniversary Wish For A Dear Friend

Mariah and I first met way back in 1995. I was then working with a local conglomerate as an Executive Secretary to the company’s Managing Director. Part of my job was to oversee the Group’s other secretaries and a huge pool of assistants. There she was, walking in, on her first day of work, looking so…when I thought of it…young.

She just graduated from high school. Young, eager, clever, pretty and like a sponge, absorbed everything you put infront of her. She was tasked to be the assistant to one of the most difficult Directors we ever had who also happened to be the company’s lawyer. Tough as it was to work with this man, but I recognized her talent and abilities. She moved from one subsidiary to another before finally being transfered to the main parent company.

Our friendship evolved too from office casuals to close friend. She was someone whom I can turn to.

Then, life moved on. I moved on from the company and so did she. We kept in touch sporadically although deep in my heart, I have always thought of the great times we had. Somehow, through the years we lost each other until by some fate, we bumped into each other sometime last year. I could not just believed it!

What I didnt know was that all the years where we lost each other, she was looking for me. Mariah even kept all of my mobile numbers that I once possessed and she said, once in a while, she would try to call and check whether it was me who would pick the call up.

She and Yusof her husband had just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary some time last week. I, for one, didnt have the opportunity to celebrate their event as I had other engagement. But, just tonight, Mariah and I had a “girlfriends” outing in Michaelangelo’s in Kiara Solaris as Yusof could not make it. I saw how their relationships evolved from when they were courting and then saw the rough patches they went through. But, I am glad that they have things sorted out and to see that Mariah has a husband who dotes on her.

I told her about what I learnt recently of emotional banks and what it meant to me.

I also told her that I have resolved to make sure that I will want to put more deposits with my best friends and try not to have many withdrawals.

And so, to Mariah and Yusof, a happy anniversary from me and hopefully more to come. Hope you both like the gift for your new house!

 

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The Advocator Of Women’s Rights

The Star on 15 February 2009  featured the writings of  Shahanaaz Habib, one of my favourite journalists. She wrote of a recent Musawah which was held last Friday. Musawah, organized by the Sisters In Islam is a global movement that wants to bring reforms to the Islamic family law and practices.

Time and again, I have always seen myself as being a practical Muslim in a lot of ways. I have blogged about this time and again too. Reading from the outcome of the session, it truly articulated the thoughts of many Muslimah out there, oppressed or otherwise.

Resonating from a polygamy discussion I had with a friend not too long ago, Z who is in her early forties, successful, beautiful and single (but not available) has this fear that once she marries her boyfriend, things will change and she cannot bring herself to think that there are 3 more “corums” to be filled if the husband so wishes.

I also wonder why men generally will only take the first portion of a Quran verse that allows the men to take four wives if only he can afford to do justice to all BUT to one woman? They tend to have selective memory that the verse also ended with a warning that if they decided that they cannot do justice, then marry only one.

When I used to live in Kota Kinabalu, I used to receive a few friends who live in Brunei. Brunei, being a Muslim country and one of the richest in this part of the world, would also see a few of its men having more than one wives. Pengiran K has 4 wives who live in four similar big bungalows, each with equally similar number of luxury cars, similar furniture and even similar number of household maids and drivers. The only glaring dissimilarity was the number of children each wife bore for him. Holidays are planned a bit differently where Wife Number 1 will get to go first, followed by Number 2, 3 and lastly 4.

Over coffee one afternoon, I asked Pengiran K how did he managed to be sane and at the same time keeping his household intact with all these four wives? His answer was this: apparently 2 days in a week he would go back to his fifth house sans any of the wives to recuperate and plan for his businesses. He also said that if a man simply cannot do justice even to one wife, dont even think about having to have his balance of corum filled, because it will not work. There are children to be raised, fed, educated. Wives to be satisfied…household to be looked after, etc etc. Things are not exactly cheap, he said.

Hmm…ok, wise words. But, how many man out there who truly understands the reason why the Faith allows this polygamy on the first place?

V Day 2009 To Remember

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The delivery guy from Blooming.com.my came by to the office in the middle of my Covey’s 7 Habits session. I wondered why SK my colleague called me out and said that there was someone out there looking for me. I walked out and there he was, standing with this big bouquet, and I couldnt even see his face, hidden behind the bunch. It didnt register first until I saw the card.

And so, here it is. Me being transported to some amazing dimentional of the unknown, just because of a bouquet of flowers from my guy.

Thank you my dear.

And to everyone else. Happy V Day!

A Little Rant On A Balmy Night In February

Having an ex who is just so not into communicating with you is but a real pain in the rear end. Especially so when you need to talk to him about the future of his one and only child. I can appreciate if this child was a result of a one night stand or from a sperm donor. But the last time I checked, she did was conceived after a 3 day and 2 night of merry festive wedding celebration that cost a cow his life to feed the entire kampung.

I also dont think that I am an evil ex wife whose lifelong ambition is to take her ex husband to laundry and get his drawers cleaned to the bone. I can be a bitch, but I chose not too. I can understand it if I were the crazy kind. You know, The Kind where the woman would rant and pant and bitch at how she had to work double shift, or The Kind where she doesnt even know where her head is whenever she opens up her mouth. A real idiot this one.

I could almost swear that I am not like that although I can safely say that there were times when some colourful words just came out through gritted teeth. A friend of mine likened it to being a bitch elegantly.

Yes, you read that right. I said, “Huh?” too when I first heard it.

Do You Have Time?

Rose and I have a friendship that developed first through The Seafarer, an ex boyfriend. The bond developed immediately when I first met this tall, lanky lady with the most curious curly blonde hair. Her children were just simply, simply adorable and the husband was just as friendly. Whenever we go out together, there would be such contrast between us – she the 6’2″ Australian lady and me the Asian sized 5’2″ friend walking side by side and I had to squint my face up whenever I talk to her.

The Seafarer is all but no longer a part of my life but my friendship with Rose remains. She has decided that she is my friend and not his, after seeing how I was affected by the dysfunction  relationship that was going. We last met during last year’s Christmas and had a blast enjoying early Christmas breakfast together in her kitchen. I brought her a little something for her Christmas tree, and she in returned fixed a humongus breakfast. I never thought we could polished off so many pieces of pancakes, sausages, eggs, fruits and we even cleaned the vanilla ice cream. We both later topped it all off with yoghurt in a big bowl that I could almost swear would never eat another yoghurt in the next few weeks.

Yesterday, we sat down again over breakfast in PJ1,  Section 16. A friend whom she had introduced to me and whom I met for the first in late October last year died of cancer just barely 4 days before. A strong woman with equally strong will to live. She was having coffee with another friend, got up from the chair, collapsed into deep coma and didnt make it 4 days later.

I shared with Rose my recent experience of an FB friend who died out of cancer too. You never knew how long you have until its too late.

You could never have enough time to do whatever you really want to do and so the time to do this is right now. Being present, now and enjoying the moment. I am thankful for the friendship that Rose and I have and thankful for the new day I woke up to this morning.  And what better way to wake up to the day and found two lovely emails from my boyfriend that reaffirms my believe that he is The One.

Be Gentle With Yourself

I went for my company management retreat towards the end of last week. Came out of it safe and sound, and believing that the best thing to happen at this time around is to be fully employed. The economic situation has made a lot of sectors to re look at their headcount and usually it is either the top 20% or the bottom 20% will have to go first during this crunch.

I happened to meet, again with my Singapore colleague, P, and got to talking. I remember the conversation we had at the breakfast table on the last day of the retreat. P, is known for his deep interest in palmistry, face reading and numerology, and posseses such calm demeanor that will people at ease and comfortable.

One of the things he shared with me was that we have to be gentle with ourselves. At first I could not comprehend at what he meant by that. He illustrated at how we, being caught up with our daily lives and chasing material gains, have, unconciously put a major strain on ourselves.

The need to achieve target, the need to achieve nothing less than fantastic results and wont accept anything lesser without examining our own capabilities in doing so. It is okay, he said, to fail once in a while. But provided we learn from these failures, and move on.

Such new concept to me. I remember the years before I joint my current organization, at how I was pushing and always testing the boundaries that I could go. How far, how fast, how high things should be. Will not settle for anything less than great or fantastic and will be so affected if the result was not as how I had envisioned it.

Life’s turmoil has somehow put me in a different path. I am definitely humbled by the entire experience. I learnt that money is not everything. I learn that friendship will be tested in tough times. I also learn that you need to eat your humble pie and move on with life for the sake of sanity and the sanity of the people you care about. You will be affected and thrown off guard with all these but by focussing on the end result will help you to sail through the tough times.

There are friends out there who have helped me through these times. Amazing people who posses equally amazing ability to be friends to other people.

Coming back to P, he said that there were some interventions from the Big Guy up there to sort of steer my destiny by coming to the current organization that I am with. I would not have been here if not for the previous engagement I had with a different company. I would not have met a friend who is now a colleague, who happened to mention of the job opportunity. I still owe him a bottle of Chivas (and more stuff) 😉 S.K. I know you will read this!

P also predicted that this career will bring me such a fulfilling results as it will create path for me to help other people through my work. He also predicted that this will be a year where I will meet someone that would bring me to greater heights in terms of emotional and spiritual aspects. I cannot argue with him on this one, as I think..no..I know I have met The One.

Amazing at how you can feel fulfiled when you are tuned to the universe.