Empty Nest Syndrome

And The Teenager has yet to leave home to be on her own.

Somehow, in my mind, the fact the she is going to college in these coming next few weeks somehow makes me feel that she is flying off the nest. I have been bracing myself for this moment for the longest time and now I find myself  desperately trying to cling to the last thread of having her as my baby.

No longer I am needed to wake up 3 times a night to feed a screaming hungry infant. Those frantic midnight phone calls to the family GP for viral fever or growing pains is but far away now from my mind. No more putting on reminders on her dresser over her “small weekend chores” to clean her school canvas shoes and to show me any letters from the school. (she used to hide them away from me).

I saw all the growing up phases she went through. There was a time when we repainted the house and she insisted to have her room painted black. That was the “emo” phase. That came right after the Miss Pretty In Pink phase. Emo phase was tough. All doom and gloom attire with equally doom and gloom looking friends with black kohl and nail colours.

Naturally, I freaked out. The grandmother freaked out. Infact, the entire clan freaked out as well.

Thank God this didnt last long.

And I managed to persuade her not to paint her room black. It will attract mosquitos, I said. She believed me.

In about 2 weeks time she would start her new college life in a local college. I am all for her choice of education path after all things considered. Afterall, I told her, this would be one of my last huge responsibilities I have as a mom and that I want her to enjoy her new found life and be mentally and emotionally ready to really take on the real living world.

Letting go is so hard to do.

Advertisements

Mature Love

I found that the subject of my boyfriend has become somewhat a favourite topic among some close friends and family members. It is kind of tricky explaining how two people from different zip code could communicate effectively, and with a 15 hour time difference.

The usual stuff that I get asked:

  • Where is he from?
  •  Really?? He spent how many years where?
  •  Oh…good that he shares the same faith…so, when did he uh, you know, had his cut? (another way of asking me when did he convert to Islam)
  • When is the date?
  • A Mat Saleh? No available Malay anymore for you? (from old minded friends whom I am not bothered to explain anything anymore)
  • Oh! He is good looking…..
  • Are you sure? How sure? HOW SURE?!

There are definitely a lot of questions when two people who are in their 40’s start making plans to live all over again. I think at least when the two people are a lot younger, people tend not to be too judgemental.

Both of us had lived life quite differently before and there is no doubt that we both came out from the previous life still feeling the burn and all that, and yet life moved on. After my own marriage ended disasterously, I was not really sure whether I could be with someone again. Not just anyone, but someone to be with and to share the same life’s goals, values, thoughts, dreams, fears and hope. This someone would be with me to explore new possibilities and to face life’s issues together, respecting me for what I am, challenging me to do my best. And yet with all these, still love me eventhough all of the skeletons were bared for him to see. He and my Teenager must also click.

Tough list? Sure it does. Impossible? I dont think so.

When I was 7 and in Standard 1, my class teacher intercepted a note given to me by a classmate. A boy named Yusof who happened to be the son of the Felda Manager. I had no idea what the note said as I never got the chance to read it. Not until my dad showed it me that afternoon.

It simply said – I like you!

There were more of that kind of notes that my dad intercepted that I never get to read for the next many years. There were countless phone calls that came in that I never get the chance to know who the callers were too.

But somehow, I grew up with some distorted views of how love and relationships should be. Being a latch-key kid for the longest time, I experienced the pain and confusion of seeing how two people had a go at each other and one fine day, realized that the other parent will not be home anymore.

“Is there real love out there?”

Coming back to why I started on this topic. I just think that I now view relationships, love and friendship in a slightly different way, but more practical in nature and a lot of the actions are given much thoughts, considerations and discussions before actually doing them. I find this more satisfying as the channel of communication is more open.

Mature or old may not mean out of context, but more of like being more proactive in making the best decision for one’s happiness as compared to when you were a lot younger.

Doing The Mamak Food

I was hungry.

The Killiney’s downstairs were too packed with people. Cant blame them as it is more or less about the only cheap and decent place to have your quick makan in the early hours in The Mid Valley City.

I found out that I was wrong about this when I decided to take a walk  slightly further than my usual route. Usual means this: take the lift all the way down to L,  pass through the check point, take an escalator to go down further, pass through some glass doors. Then, walk pass the Japanese restaurant that is always pack, Starbucks which is always pack, Delicious which is always pack, and of course The Killiney’s which is , yes you guess it, pack.

Walk a few more steps, there is Chili’s, Seed’s, Amaleto, Maybank, Gloria Jeans, Spaghetti. They are all pack on most times. Wait, go back on that one. Maybank is not an eatery but a bank. Yes, they are usually pack with people  too. Even the small police station next to Spaghetti is always with people.

Dont these people have anything else to do??

So, day in, day out. Lift. Check point. Escalator. Kimono girls. Coffee. Cakes. Nasi lemak. Nachos. More cakes. Pasta. ATM machines. Strawberries & Cream frappe. Guys in blue. Pasta.

And back.

Anyways, I digressed.

I decided to pass the Tous boutique and walked till the end of the mall,  and then I saw it…wait, this… cant… be…. right. Steven’s Tea Garden. It looks like a mamak shop, menu is the same as any mamak shop, the teh tarik on someone’s table is unmistakenly looks like from a mamak shop, but hey! It is an upmarket mamak shop!

Still hungry and looking for my caffein fix in the morning, I picked one of the small tables facing Just Toast (which is already packed…). Rested my wary feet (what do you expect after walking a good 10 minutes in an inch and half heels in the mega mall?) Waited for a good 15 minutes before one of the staff came to me and took my order.

dsc01370

The menu was nicely done. What you do is to pick any of the dishes from the menu then you indicate whatever it is to your fancy on another order sheet together with the quantity and you pass this to the staff.

That morning, I was bracing myself to taste their Set B Breakfast set consisting of a teh tarik, a roti canai and a small side bowl of mutton curry all for a tidy sum of RM9.88…wow! I thought. This better be a good roti canai. I realised that if you order only the roti canai and a dhall curry, the cost is RM2.88.

Quite a princely amount for a roti canai.

My meals arrived not soon after. The teh tarik was done the way I like it. Less froth, strong and with just enough sugar and milk in it. The roti canai was not disappointing either. Smaller than a regular sized ones outside, the piece arrived at my table was crispy and delicious. The mutton curry was good except that it arrived a tad cold.

222-5

I have no problem in going back again to Steven’s Tea Garden except that I think they were still in teething stages. I found out from the cashier that they just opened to the public about two and a half months back. The service level was still a tad lacking compared to the usual mamak shops but I guess that can be quite forgiven when I realized the space they occupied was fairly large and there were only about 3 floor staff serving the morning crowd.

The lassi selection was interesting. Named after all the zodiacs – Aries, Taurus and so forth, they were all good choices of lassi with peaches, apples, mango among others. Very creative. I will update and post some pixs here when I manage to get hold of my card reader.

All and all, it is a place worth going back again.

College This And That

Ever since her last SPM result came out, The Teenager and I have been pouring through all sorts of college pamphlets that came through the mailbox. 3 colleges have offered her opportunities to study with them except that she is not so keen with what they are offering.

I cannot imagine for the life of me that going through this phase is a difficult one. I mean, how difficult it could be to pick a good college that offers something your child like, and dealing with a smarty-pants ex, right?

Wrong.

It all has started since October 2008 when I sat down at my study table and really thought of the processes involved in furthering the education of my only daughter. I knew that this day would come.I knew that it would involve a lot of time and reseach to pick what is good, balancing them off with what my child’s interests and passions. From there hopefully she will not haunt me back to say that I have not done enough.

Education also means money is required. A lot of it actually.

The search of a suitable college offering creative studies ended us up with at least piles of websites and plenty of readings. We spent times together trying to understand what she really wants to do and me putting my bits from my current work experience to make her understand that what you like to do doesnt mean will make you become attractively employable in the job market.

As it is, we have until end of the month to go shopping for what is available out there and will decide when the time comes. So far we have shorted listed a few good colleges. We even talked about the pros and cons of some programs as well as the logistics feasibilities.

Over dinner last night at her favourite Siam makan place somehere near the house, I saw another side of my Teenager. She spoke eloquently of her passion, plans and fears. She spoke of that what-ifs and what-nots.

My baby has grown!

What’s Hot, What’s Not Part 1

Spring is in the air they said. Well, for here in Malaysia, it doesnt matter, spring or otherwise, the weather can be nice and sunny at 34C and then it will be pouring rain the next and the weather dips to 27C.

Still, it will be hot and humid.

So, what’s hot nowadays? And what’s not? No, I am not just talking about what Mrs Obama wore during her last media focus at The White House organic vegetable patch walk-a-about, but other stuff in general from my perspective.

Let’s see..

What’s Hot Nowadays:

Facebooking. Let’s face it. You can run away from it but you cant hide. If 175 million people on planet earth are its users, you can bet your thumb that almost everyone in your boardroom is a user as well. I remember going into a round table discussion with a colleague. I took some pictures prior to the session and promised everyone that those snapshots will be posted to FB. 23 out of the 24 participants raised up their hands to acknowledge this fact. The 24th person was my colleague who just simply refused to bend to this invasion.

Twitter. I dont wish to advertise every single waking moment of my life to the world. That is why I dont really fancy Twitting although at first the idea was really, really tempting. But it must have been cool to exchange thoughts and learning of your friends’ activities when you Twit, but err..never mind.

Earth Hour. I didnt know that Earth Hour was mooted by WWF is a yearly thing, until some months ago. At least now we all know that someone in the branding and PR are doing their work to reach to the people like me. There are already 2,712 towns, cities and municipalities all throughout in 83 countries have commited to this cause to switch off their lights for an hour this coming at 8.30pm local time on Saturday 28 March, wherever they are on the planet.

I personally thought this is an amazing concerted effort and such a hype it has created all over the world. Imagine getting all these people doing one thing for one single cause at the same time when most of other times we have issues in trying to get them queing up properly to get on the bus.

UMNO election. This, can be categorized under what’s hot and can swivel to what’s not hot too. Hot because everyone talks about it. They talk about how the ACA’s recent prosecuting a few prominent names for money politics and as predicted, all these people claimed their innocence.

The latest news is that the 39 year old Khairy Jamaluddin won the Umno Youth Number 1 post and Shahrizat will helm the Wanita Umno Wing defeating Rafidah.

Petronas F1. Ahh…yes…one of my favourite sporting events of the year. With all the past 10 years or so having had the opportunity to participate in the activities associated to the local F1 scenes, I realized that there is no more adrenaline rush for me in this. This year the Petronas F1 will fall on 5 April in Sepang track. The iconic track will be filled to the brim again just like any other year. 2008 saw the cute-as-a-button Raikkonen stood on the grand stand as the winner. A few years back, I had the opportunity to be part of the hosting activities of the McLaren team in the local hot-spot in KL called Orange. That, was an awsome experience.

 

What’s Not Hot?

Gloom and doom news about the current world economic crisis. It was reported that even Starbucks globally will outplace 6000 employees in the next few months. With its profit dropped to 67%, it plans to close about 300 outlets globally with 200 outlets in US alone.

RIP Comel (1999-2009)

The grand old lady finally passed over to Kitty’s Rainbow Bridge at approximately 4pm on 21 March 2009. She was 9 years old, or 52 human age. She left behind Rexton who is now coming to about 5 years old and a very sad 18 year old teenager whom she literally grew up with.

 

comel-5

Kuala Lumpur Cityscapes

 

 

 

 

The majestic Petronas Twin Towers

pc220031pc220012

  View from Level 27 of Menara University Kuala Lumpur.

pc220014

 

 

 

pc220015

 

 

 

 

pc220034

Menara Public Bank, Jalan Ampang

image0096

(Top and bottom) View from Level 66 Tower 2, Petronas Twin Towers

image0098

In Virgil

9 years ago Lyn brought back a kitten home. She named her Comel. Comel literally grew up along with my daughter, shared the same bed, shared the same burger when I wasnt looking, played chase. Comel would wait for Lyn infront of the bathroom and would happily stroll in inside to be with her and didnt mind the water at all.

This grand old lady has not been well for a while now. She refused her favourite cat nibbles last night and I knew that it was close to her time.

As I type this away, she lays on her favourite old tshirt that belonged to me, and breathing her last breathes. Her old body seems to shrunk since this morning when I saw her last before leaving for work.

Comel has been a part of the family since forever. Whereever the family went, she would be there as well. I dont know how I really felt at the moment. It is kind of a mixed feeling – relief that her pain would be over, but it is like watching a loved one slipping away too.

As I stroke her body, she makes some whiny sound, her usual way of telling us when she was pleased. But, there was no more cheeky look coming from her eyes, but just a distant look. Once in a while, she would look at me.

I have delivered, cared for, raised, watched them grow, get sick and buried all of my cats all these while but Comel is definitely in her own league. I dont know whether cats do really feel any love as how we human does, but I do hope that she feels that she is loved all throughout her life with us.

p31701161

Bitch Driver

Dear Bitch Driver who drove a pearly white Myvy with registration WGV 7050.

At approximately 8.30am today, you were driving on the Kerinchi Link heading towards Mid Valley Mega Mall at a neck-breaking speed . You almost knock my car as well as another Volvo. You missed us by mere inches in your pursuit of clearly looking for an emergency toilet, or that was how it seems. Only someone who was either rushing to the hospital and dying or someone with a bad tummy ache and needs badly to go would drive like a maniac as you did. You should have a bucket on that front seat.

You know, just saying.

You even had the cheek to slip on your sunnies and pretended as if nothing happened when I looked at you at the toll house. Why oh! why didnt you drive any faster at oh! say…180km/hour and just drive through the side barricades and go straight down 300 meters to the side of Bangsar highway.

Now, that would be really awsome.

The Bermuda Triangle Of Socks And The Unmentionables

Ever try washing socks, panties and small things in your washing machine?

Yea, I know that look.

060309013115b

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to George, I have ample blogging ideas. Infact, he gave me much inspiration to blog on that if I were to credit him with things for each idea, he would have owned my washine machine by now.

Wait. I dont have a washing machine now and so maybe I can get away with this.

These small things – socks and all that stuff, for some reason will get lost in between the first cycle and drying. I’ve been there done that and still could not figure where they went. So, George said , “Oh babe! Dont you know that there is such thing as a Bermuda Triangle Of Socks And The Unmentionables?”

Right.

Thats why I want to marry this man.

50388585