And The Teenager has yet to leave home to be on her own.
Somehow, in my mind, the fact the she is going to college in these coming next few weeks somehow makes me feel that she is flying off the nest. I have been bracing myself for this moment for the longest time and now I find myself desperately trying to cling to the last thread of having her as my baby.
No longer I am needed to wake up 3 times a night to feed a screaming hungry infant. Those frantic midnight phone calls to the family GP for viral fever or growing pains is but far away now from my mind. No more putting on reminders on her dresser over her “small weekend chores” to clean her school canvas shoes and to show me any letters from the school. (she used to hide them away from me).
I saw all the growing up phases she went through. There was a time when we repainted the house and she insisted to have her room painted black. That was the “emo” phase. That came right after the Miss Pretty In Pink phase. Emo phase was tough. All doom and gloom attire with equally doom and gloom looking friends with black kohl and nail colours.
Naturally, I freaked out. The grandmother freaked out. Infact, the entire clan freaked out as well.
Thank God this didnt last long.
And I managed to persuade her not to paint her room black. It will attract mosquitos, I said. She believed me.
In about 2 weeks time she would start her new college life in a local college. I am all for her choice of education path after all things considered. Afterall, I told her, this would be one of my last huge responsibilities I have as a mom and that I want her to enjoy her new found life and be mentally and emotionally ready to really take on the real living world.
Letting go is so hard to do.