Single Mom, The Challenges


I had to leave the office earlier than my usual lunch hour today to pick The Teenager and send her to college for her 1.00 pm class. You see, our apartment is quite far from the main road and this has rendered those who dont have transportation to go out inconvenienced, including my daughter.

It is really a catch 22. We have been planning to get her the driving licence so that she can drive the family car when “there is an emergency”. But the other idea is also for her to be independent to move around with her own transport, when she owns one.

The only problem is, if she gets her driving license, we need another car.

I find that in my experience as a single mom, there are so many challenges that sometimes I just feel like there is nowhere to turn to but to bulldoze, come what may the end result might look like.

One of my fears is to have a very sick teenager at home when I am travelling for work. The extended family is but a figment coming from the previous life. If they had never been playing a major role before, now would not really matter too. Ferrying The Teenager back and forth has never been a real issue except when I am away working at a different part of the city where I cannot leave as quickly as possible. Another fear is, what if one day I just got sick, collapse and die?

Playing multiple role and juggling the financial aspects which some came from the previous marriage baggages, household stuff, a teenager, and at the same time playing the competent employee can be quite a handful sometimes.

After more than 2 years being a single mom, I think there are aspects of this single-mommyhood that I have mastered but some, sadly, I am still grappling around trying to find the right fit on how to do them.

Yeap, it is still a pretty scary world out there.

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7 Replies to “Single Mom, The Challenges”

  1. I raised my daughter Gina as a single parent, from the age of 18 months, up to about the time she was 7 years old. It really helped to have a good support system in place. I was fortunate to have found a series of quite reliable babysitters in the communities where I lived. They probably took pity on this poor white man trying to raise an Inuit daughter and made it easy for me. Even if it was pity, I accept it, because it was the only way I could have made it through those early years.

    Well, my love, if God so wills it, you may have an extra shoulder to help bear the load of raising your teenager. I can’t say that I have all the answers – because I don’t – but will do my best so that you won’t have to worry as much…

  2. And that is why I love you much! You know, sometimes it is not so much about the money but more of a moral support and sounding board sometimes when the going gets tough.

  3. From the little bit that I know of your daughter through my chats and brief conversations with her, she is very well grounded. You’ve done well with her. She’s a teenager at that point in her life where she is wanting to spread her wings and try them out. The hardest part is knowing when to step back, and when to provide some support. Oh, and reminding yourself that she is not you and won’t always make all of the choices that you would want her to make. My own daughter once said to me that I expected her to be perfect. Not true. I just didn’t want her to make the same mistakes I did, because I knew how much they hurt…

  4. Salam, segala-galanya ada hikmahnya.Kak Sam melalui pahit maung untuk membesarkan anak-anak, bukan soal single parent ke atau bukan tapi cabaran yang datang terpaksa dilalui….Hawa patut bersyukur hanya sorang saja yang hendak dilayan Kak Sam 5 orang. Kadang2 stess juga sampai naik le darah tinggiAnway Hawa banyak2kan berdoa semoga kita dapat memberi yang terbaik untuk anak-anak kita. InsyaAllah.

  5. Kak Sam, thanks so much for the wise words. Alhamdullillah so far saya cuba bagi dia yang terbaik. Maybe Allah ada sebab bagi seorang sahaja sebelum ni and hopefully Insyaallah ada rezeki lagi dalam masa akan datang…;-)

  6. Thanks for dropping by Jolene. Yes being a single mom or even a single dad can be tough. But, God has been good to us and provides all these time, maybe in different degree at times. But who says life is easy?

    Have a blessed day!

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