George and I, well, we are different. In all sorts of ways that is. The obvious ones are all there of course. We are also two of the same in many ways that we feel as if we were looking into the mirror. But never have I seen him in any other way but as someone who has managed to weave his way to my heart. All the way from 10,000 miles and 2 continents away. I surely love him the same with that salt and pepper hair and yes, a total Mat Salleh in all aspects. I am sure he has looked beyond my Asian size 5’2″ height, olive skin with all the various innuendos of Asian culture to boot or otherwise we would not have ended with me carrying his surname next to my dad’s. Talk about clash of two worlds and everything else in between.
There are many of our friends who have inter-racial marriage, just like us. The marriage part was not exactly the difficult bit. Heck! That was the easy one. The difficult part, at least for us, is to manage the perceptions of other people towards the inter-racial marriage.
The typical questions asked are: (to me)
- how Islam is he? (he is infact the driving force for all good things I could see as a practising Muslim)
- Not enough Malay men you can find? (err…been there done that, got a T-shirt, and nope, didnt work. At all.)
- He is a what? You mean he is not American? (would you like to check on the difference between AMERICA and CANADA?)
- He is a salvation to a better life in the form of his big, fat pay cheque (excuse me? Since when did I marry Donald Trump?)
- White devil trying to take away the local girl and turning her into some western individual. (yea, RIGHT.)
Conversely, me, being the “poor Asian lady who lives in a 3rd world country and trying to get any opportunity to live in the west and scrunge husband’s bank account” are thought to be that – “the poor Asian lady who lives in a 3rd world country and trying to get any opportunity to live in the west and scrunge husband’s bank account”.
What eludes these people are that everyone has their own commitment and responsbilities. These things come in the form of morgages, credit card payments, utilities, car, food, education, alimony, medical and..the list goes on and on and on. Dont forget that good cat food is expensive too. And so are hungry teenagers! Maybe exs who doesnt seem to know in finding their way to the employment office?
And no, since I am married to a Mat Salleh doesnt mean that I am an ATM machine to a long list of people. I do know that the exchange rate is favourable but surely people would know that we are not a charity house?
Like I said, morgages, credit card payments, utilities, car, food, education, medical, cat food and a bunch of teenagers who are perpetually in hunger can make gold mine owner go bonkers.
Do not forget the exs!