My Girl As I See Her


Traffic was smooth as I entered the highway towards the city. Could have been the Selangor-ians are still on a long leave after the long Nuzul Al Quran weekend? No mad woman driver either as I entered the Kerinchi Link, which was good as I was in no mood to entertain anyone  mentally off this morning. The weather so far is good and not too hot. God has blessed this year’s Ramadhan with wonderful weather as compared to last year.  My BP was up again yesterday I think and that led to a massive headache by evening. Somehow it did subside by sahur.

The past one week had been but a blur to me. The time passed on very quickly and there are just so many things to do. And so many things to think about.

The Teenager will be leaving for KK this week to visit her father of whom she had not seen for more than a year. Her excitement was more for the plane ride, trip to Tanjung Aru beach, barbeque fish and raw seaweed waiting for her in the Filipino market although I am sure, without she explaining in detail, that she is indeed missing her father.

It has not been easy for her since my ex and I went on our separate ways. Celebrations and festivities always brought back memories to her. Birthdays are always the hardest as it will mark the day when she found some discriminating photos of a certain woman. The first year when we were on our own, she refused to eat in crowded places where, in her mind, she could see other daughters with their fathers. She would cry till she fell asleep and all the time blaming herself for what went wrong without realising that she wasnt at fault. The first 6 months was one of the hardest as well. I was at my lowest ebb and she was a confused teenager. I had my own demons to fight. It wasnt easy to explain why after 16 years of being her daddy’s Princess and then being ignored just like that?

My Girl isnt really a girl anymore. Next October she will be 18 and ready for the world has to offer. It is a new beginning. She would not be really needing me now as she was used to, but thats okay. But I know she would have excited/hate anticipation of this coming birthday, as always, as all how her past few birthdays had been.

The new family unit George and I have created now, hopefully would bring some balance in this life. For what it is worth, it soothes the soul to be able to say, “Yes, I have a home to come back to.”

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2 Replies to “My Girl As I See Her”

  1. sy tumpang sedih di pagi ramadhan ini membaca posting saudari. not about kerinchi link, nor the BP. its about your daughter. kasihannya… i know it’s not easy for both of you… semoga bahagia segalanya selepas ini. setiap dugaan yang datang berjaya saudari hadapi bersama orang tersayang. semoga terus berjaya dan bahagia….

  2. Encik Rahman, thank you for dropping by dan membaca blog saya. Each time I blog about my experience it has always been about sharing and hopefully that ada orang akan mengambil ikhtibar from all these. Saya percaya setiap cabaran ada hikmahnya. Allah tidak akan menguji seseorang itu sekiranya Dia tahu orang itu tidak termampu, wallahualam.

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