It is hard to say goodbye.
Bruno crossed the Rainbow Bridge today after a period of illness due to FIV. We will always treasure and love you, our handsome boy.
I visit her blog at least once a week, just checking whether she had brought it down. Nope, the hurtful postings are still there. Just last week I quietly opened up the print out of a particular posting she did 4 years back. It was this piece of paper, carefully folded and placed in a bag and hidden away at the back of the cabinet. Just as carefully as how it was folded, and that was how carefully I thumbed through the content. I broke down and cried, wondering where have I gone wrong.
Never in my life thinking that I should be feeling this way. Feeling used, disappointed, sad, angry why things turn for the worse.
You see, I de friended my own daughter on Facebook.
And that, tantamount to packing your own kid’s clothes in a bag, throw it out on the lawn and changed the pad lock.
I used to care what she wrote. Nowadays, they are just reminders why I did what I did. I suppose the old adage, “You have to be cruel to be kind” is true to my one and only daughter. No regrets. Just a wishful thinking that she would realize her behaviour and brattish actions were so deeply hurtful and disappointing.
Years ago, when I was young, I dreamed of greatness for my life. Had a ride of my life. I finally found my Soul Mate in this second life and I am grateful. My empty soul is now filled.
In that first life, that was when I gave birth to my daughter. And, I dreamed of the same greatness for her life. And, if she is reading this, this is all I have to say to her:
If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill
Be a scrub in the valley–but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway some happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie then just be a bass–
But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here.
There’s big work to do and there’s lesser to do,
And the task we must do is the near.
If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail–
Be the best of whatever you are!
~ Douglas Malloch
The parliament has been dissolved effective today, 3rd April 2013. And so was the announcement made by the Prime Minister today at 11.30am.
Within the next few weeks, my fellow Malaysians will exercise their rights by going to the voting centers all over the country.
The last I went for voting was 5 years ago. Have not realized how fast the time flies. A lot of people do not realize that 5 years are just a blink of an eye and today I sat in the car, reflecting on my own life journey for the past 5 years.
As what one of my friends said in his FB status, “Remember to go to the nearest mamak’s or kopitiam to remind ourselves that in the end we are all united by teh tarik, tosai, and roti bakar!”
I would add a few more items there – nasi lemak and roti canai!
Happy Voting, my Fellow Malaysians.