Love Yourself Before Loving Others

I can never emphasize more on this topic that you have to love yourself more before you can start loving others, and eventually allowing others to love you in return.

“You need to love yourself and be yourself one hundred percent before you can actually love someone else.”

Christina Perri

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Ramadhan In 2014

Salam Ramadhan to my family and friends. Today is the first day of the holy month. The weather has been really hot and note to self is, keep rehydrate by not doing gardening in the middle of the hot sun.

This will also be our first Ramadhan at the new place. We have not nailed down our Eidil Fitri plan just as yet but I think a drive to the East Coast is on the agenda. We both have not been on a real holiday since last year and so this break would be ideal to do this.

The first Iftar today morning was simple. I prepared chicken wrap – the ingredients were simple, ayam masak kunyit and laced with home made hot salsa that I have prepared earlier in the evening.

Talking about Eidil Fitri, I told George of one of my past regrets in the previous life. Each year, the family would spend our first day of Eidil Fitri at the in-laws place. For umpteenth years we were like that. We will only drive back to Pahang on the second or third day. It was some kind of expectation that we had to do this.

And my dad never say a word.

Not until after he passed away, that one of my aunties told me that my dad was not the least happy with this. He wondered why i have never spent the first day of Eidil Fitri at his house.

I was sad, realizing that I have never stood my ground on this matter. But it was all too late as there was no more Eidil Fitri to be spent with this man.

When I became a single mom a few years ago, I make it a point to create a new norm where my daughter will spend her first day of Eidil Fitri at home, with me, FIRST before going off to her father’s family home. I told her that until she has her own family, this will be the practice.

Being a single mom taught me lots of things. One thing important is, to hold your ground but make sure you are doing it not out of malice. This way, hopefully my daughter will learn that you can the tradition but it will evolve with time.

For the past several years, we have been celebrating our first Eidil Fitri together at home. I would cook, George and Lyn will set the table. We would clean up the house days before that too.

It is good to be able to set a new tradition for the family which is also new.

The Awesome Breakfast

I was woken up so early in the morning and George was sitting by the bedside with a mug of coffee. He handed it to me.

I took it from his hand, and promptly burst into tears. Panic ensued. He asked me whether I wanted something else or has he done anything wrong?

I said, no. It is just that I have never had anyone who make coffee for me, like that. Ever. That was close to 5 years ago, and the coffee incident was in the first morning of our marriage life together. And that was the start of many coffee/milo/horlicks/tea mornings.

Three mornings ago, he make me these….

bfastNo wonder I love this man very much.

 

You Complete Yourself

A lady friend who is recently divorced lamented the fact that she is feeling lonely. She asked me how it was when I used to be a single mom.

I told her that for the first year, it didnt hit me that much that I was alone and single. Then, the second year, it hit me that I was single but not alone. I was not alone as I had everything and everyone else that I wanted to have with me. 

You can be in a crowd but still feel lonely. You can be alone and yet feel contented with life.

When George and I “met”, it was a bonus because we both were not looking. We started off as friends and when we decided to take the relationship to the next level, it was truly a different level as it was not a matter of completing our lives, but to enhance the lives we have.