Top 5 Hottest Men

I just saw MSN flashed its news as I opened up my browser today. The title caught my eyes – Men Above 40 Who Are Hot. I saw that Barack Obama made it to the top list. And why not? Apart from looking so suave, he definitely has that intelligence. And intelligence is hot. 

My own top 5 Hottest Men List.

Now. Lets see who are they.

Ahem.

The Hot Guy Number 5…Brendan Fraser. Known for his acting in The Journey To The Center Of The Earth and The Mummy, he possesess that innocent and carefree look that melts every gals hearts. I haave not seen him in acting in any scenes that showed him as the bad-ass or any too-mushy roles. I like the sqeaky clean image.

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Number Four…….Danzel Washington. What can I say? Sigh..

 

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Number 3 is awarded to ….who else but to Mel Gibson…his acting in Braveheart was awsome and he looks as yummy as this:

 

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Number 2. Patrick Steward…Look at that. JUST LOOK AT THAT SEXY BALD HEAD AND THE PRIM LOOK.

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And …the winner is…………my fiance, George 😉

YUM!

Congrats to George for making it to the top in Hanie’s List Of Hottest Men. He ding-ed Antonio Banderas, Richard Gere, Bratt Pitt, Orlando Bloom, John Statham and Barack Obama from the list.

Patrick Steward came in close though but then, too much hassle.

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My Other-Half.

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The Advocator Of Women’s Rights

The Star on 15 February 2009  featured the writings of  Shahanaaz Habib, one of my favourite journalists. She wrote of a recent Musawah which was held last Friday. Musawah, organized by the Sisters In Islam is a global movement that wants to bring reforms to the Islamic family law and practices.

Time and again, I have always seen myself as being a practical Muslim in a lot of ways. I have blogged about this time and again too. Reading from the outcome of the session, it truly articulated the thoughts of many Muslimah out there, oppressed or otherwise.

Resonating from a polygamy discussion I had with a friend not too long ago, Z who is in her early forties, successful, beautiful and single (but not available) has this fear that once she marries her boyfriend, things will change and she cannot bring herself to think that there are 3 more “corums” to be filled if the husband so wishes.

I also wonder why men generally will only take the first portion of a Quran verse that allows the men to take four wives if only he can afford to do justice to all BUT to one woman? They tend to have selective memory that the verse also ended with a warning that if they decided that they cannot do justice, then marry only one.

When I used to live in Kota Kinabalu, I used to receive a few friends who live in Brunei. Brunei, being a Muslim country and one of the richest in this part of the world, would also see a few of its men having more than one wives. Pengiran K has 4 wives who live in four similar big bungalows, each with equally similar number of luxury cars, similar furniture and even similar number of household maids and drivers. The only glaring dissimilarity was the number of children each wife bore for him. Holidays are planned a bit differently where Wife Number 1 will get to go first, followed by Number 2, 3 and lastly 4.

Over coffee one afternoon, I asked Pengiran K how did he managed to be sane and at the same time keeping his household intact with all these four wives? His answer was this: apparently 2 days in a week he would go back to his fifth house sans any of the wives to recuperate and plan for his businesses. He also said that if a man simply cannot do justice even to one wife, dont even think about having to have his balance of corum filled, because it will not work. There are children to be raised, fed, educated. Wives to be satisfied…household to be looked after, etc etc. Things are not exactly cheap, he said.

Hmm…ok, wise words. But, how many man out there who truly understands the reason why the Faith allows this polygamy on the first place?

A Little Rant On A Balmy Night In February

Having an ex who is just so not into communicating with you is but a real pain in the rear end. Especially so when you need to talk to him about the future of his one and only child. I can appreciate if this child was a result of a one night stand or from a sperm donor. But the last time I checked, she did was conceived after a 3 day and 2 night of merry festive wedding celebration that cost a cow his life to feed the entire kampung.

I also dont think that I am an evil ex wife whose lifelong ambition is to take her ex husband to laundry and get his drawers cleaned to the bone. I can be a bitch, but I chose not too. I can understand it if I were the crazy kind. You know, The Kind where the woman would rant and pant and bitch at how she had to work double shift, or The Kind where she doesnt even know where her head is whenever she opens up her mouth. A real idiot this one.

I could almost swear that I am not like that although I can safely say that there were times when some colourful words just came out through gritted teeth. A friend of mine likened it to being a bitch elegantly.

Yes, you read that right. I said, “Huh?” too when I first heard it.

Check List

To all the singles out there who are looking for a partner, I have a question for you. A very important question. It seems like a mindless silly question but needed to be asked.  Do you have a check list of what would be the ideal person that you are looking for to share your life with? If you do, how does that check list looks like? Is it long with ten gadzillion boxes to tick? Or it could be a simple one box that says – “as long as he makes me happy”. Which, makes all else pale because you either tick it or leave it blank.

Moving on the same topic. Do you have a treshold that basically “tells” you either you should go all out and give a chance to develop into something more or you just move along because “it feels right” at that time? Or, does this treshold will tell you, if you dont have at least half of the checklist ticked, then you should go out and cut out your losses.

I look forward to some feedbacks.

 

 

 

Poly Life

Ok, I admit it.

I have been a lurker for past few weeks in a few blogs posted by polyamorous living people/couples of out of curiosity. And, until todate, I cannot comprehend and digest the way of life these people are living.

Call it selfish but I cannot and will not share my life and my partner with some other people. The thought of my partner having sex with someone else and me being sooooo okay with it is just too much for me to bring into the picture. The thought of him being soooooo okay with me boinking another guy is also not okay. Okay? Those intimate stuff are only meant for me and him, and noone elses.

I read with sickness in my gut how a wife actually helped the husband making out with his girlfriend, and she feeling so left out in the act. By  the way, did I also mentioned that she was all the while sitting in between his legs while the girlfriend moaned and bounced on his yahoo? Each blog gets more depressing and more depressing as if they are like a cry for help.

First and foremost, unless you are into three-some or whatchamacallit fetish, I dont see any reason why on earth :

a) she should be helping them both

b) how the husband can be sooooo ignorant of his wife’s feelings

Some of you may say that it is ok to lead this kind of life as it doesnt encourage cheating in that primary relationship so it doesnt constitute cheating. Huh? Some of you may also argue that in certain religion such as Islam it actually encourages polygamy as to curb wandering spouses (i.e. husbands). Ok, fine, argument heard.

But, it never says anywhere that the primary partners should also be subjected to humiliations, pain, heart break, jealousy and all those feelings which are supposedly normal feelings in a relationship.

I will feel a jealousy pang if (when I have a partner) my partner have some sexual arousal when thinking or even looking at other females. Is this because I am repressed of my feelings? Nope. Am I not being a confident woman? Nope. Am I feeling inadequate? Nope. Infact so far, touch wood, no complaint in that err…department but I digress. Am I being possesive. Yes. I am possesive over my books, my cats, my house, my car, my laptop but all in different level of possessiveness. He can fantasise all he wants but should just stop there – in his brain. If he cant handle his sexual needs and need more than only me to satisfy this, then he doesnt deserve to be in my life.

There was once when my ex (then husband) and I were into our first year of marriage life. We talked about scenarios how I would handle the situation if he takes second (or third or fourth) wife. I told him that his rights as a husband to complete the corum has been provided for in the religion and he can do so if he wishes.

But I also told him, I will take myself out from the equation so as not to complicate matters.

Fast forward 17 years in 2007, I found myself doing exactly that – taking myself out from the equation so as not to complicate matters. I did exactly what I had said , and never regretted it.

Life is complicated enough than me having to address an orgy issue in a bedroom.

How To End A Relationship

There are ways to exit with grace out of a relationship and of course, there are ways to do it like a total asshole. Whichever that you are, either the dumper or the dumpee, it will create some sort of tension and a considerable stress to both parties. Look at how Rachel Marsden reacted when the Wikipedia founder, Jimmy Wales  rebutted her claim and issued a statement that they only met once and only had a brief relationship. I really dont know the details to their liasons but thats the price you have to pay when you are famous. Everyone wants to know and will wag about your sexual sexcapes or check your thrash.

Preserving one’s dignity when ending a relationship is hard to do when you do realise there was a time when there were true feelings involved between both of you. I have seen friends who were dumped in the most unceremonious ways that I sometimes think everybody should be a monk and never get involve in any relationships. Whatsoever. Among few top favourites on how to be a total asshole when you are the dumper are by using the following techniques:

Texting. Yeah, so you dont grow the pair yet to tell your partner that you are dumping her? “Sori bt i x thnk our rlthip s wking, so hv dcided we shd nt c echoter anymre. gudbye n tke cre.” How’s that?

Email. Why does email seems to be the easiest channel to break off from a relationship when all these time you both have spent like, thousands of dollars on phone bills talking about everything under the stars right down to the colours of curry stains on your shirt.

A Dear John/Jill letter. “Dear (insert name here), sorry but I dont think our relationship is working, so I have decided we should not see each other anymore”. See the recurring theme here?

Advertise it . Yeah, a totally classy move. Myspace bulletin, Friendster shoutouts, Facebook wall- all have used to a certain creative extend by dumpers to dump the partner, and letting their ten gadzillion friends know.

IM. When before this you both have spent like, thousands on the phone bills talking to each other. See another recurring theme??

And finally, the classiest of all dumping method..

By just disappearing from the other party’s life. Not picking and returning phone calls, emails, changing to new address, zip code, state, country, whatever and basically doing just that – exiting from the previous relationship.

 A recommended reading by John Gray is here. It offers some practical guide on how to move on with your life after a breakup.

Pet Peeves (Ranting)

Pet Peeves  Some people say that your past experiences, how you were raised, developed throughout the years and all that jazz will shape you as an individual. How you treat your life, spouse and children or how you perceive the future life will all depend on these. Sometimes, what you learn along the way will sort of give you ideas on what your next steps to be and what you will look out for. Or not. Well, thanks to my past experiences, I have a long list of what my pet peeves look like:  

  1. MLM newbies. Stop. Bothering. Me. Please. I really don’t care how many PVs I can generate for myself when I simply said to you I just want to use the products that you sell. The concept at least to me is pretty simple. I like your products. I want to buy. You sell. If I like it I will buy some more.

  1. Club Membership Telemarketeer. Which part of my “no” that you don’t understand when I refuse to buy your buy one-get 12 free meals coupons. By the way, where on earth did you get my private phone number?

  1. Beggars who prowl food courts with three healthy looking children in tow. They don’t even look like the “mother”. I personally saw an old man came begging for money at a local food court. After his round of collection, a Waja car came to pick him up and proceeded to stop in front of Victoria Station Steak House nearby. Guessed all the people were paying for his piece of steak.

  1. The great Nigerian scams. Ah…what can I say….from princesses, princes, sons , daughters and even attorneys to wealthy Nigerian politicians whose father, mother, heck- an entire clan- killed by some jealous rivals. None of them allow me to invest in my own great Hanie’s Chili Flavoured Condom manufacturing facility.

  1. Dentist. Blame it on a bad experience when I was 12. I went to the Government dentist to pull out an overgrown molar. The dentist told me it wasn’t going to be painful. He lied. I spent half of my life spending huge investments in dental care simply because I told myself I will not step into another dentist’s chair as long as I live.

  1. Pregnant woman. Don’t get me wrong. I was pregnant before but I had a tough time. I developed post natal blues and no one really realized it much less my then other half. I knew there was something wrong with me but wasn’t sure what it was. Naturally, looking at pregnant women will trigger these bad memories. Maternity hospitals give me the same feeling. Someone told me I need severe therapy for this kind of thinking.

  1. Screaming children in a restaurant. No, it is not okay for them playing and running my table. Not cute at all. I will go to the playground when I want to watch children playing catch.

  1. Kuala Lumpur Bukit Aman Police HQ. Umm…long story… until now I will not even make a detour to that route even if you point a gun to my head.

  1. A clean sweep and bordering to insanely loathsome and severe hatred for most Filipina and Sabahan girls. Makes me sick to the depth of my stomach.  In fact, I am puking as I write this.

  1. Most Malay men (and married one at that) who thought they are God-send to women. No, I am not interested to look at your new apartments as well, thank you. Neither do I want to waste my phone credits in replying to your silly messages. And no, I don’t think circumcised dicks have better personality than those uncut look. Its your personality that matters and why are you telling me this again?

  1. Most married Malay men who tell me how lonesome they are because the wives are not sexy and don’t entertain in bed anymore. Go get yourself a proper couple counseling or get a divorce, then come talk to me, you swine! And in that order too.

  1. Almost anything Irish. That includes The Coors and anyone who goes by the name of Jack.

  1. Anyone by the name of Nelson or Hairiz. Ugh. Please leave your employment application forms by the door and don’t ever come back.

  1. Anyone by the name of Faizal or Zairuddin. I will befriend you with a pinch, no make that a sackful, of salt.

  1. Religious fanatics. Hollier than thou bunch. Whatever religion that is, I really don’t care what faith you practice but just don’t come near me sprouting your wisdoms and whatnots, and thinking how you are above everyone else who doesn’t share your views. Get a life!

  1. All the old aunties and uncles who think that I will look better wearing baju kurung and headscarves 24/7. I don’t share graves with you and neither will I meet my Maker with you in tow. I dress to please myself and no one else. And no, Im not that stupid to wear bikinis to work.

  1. SILs, BILs and MIL or whatever that ends with ILs who thinks they deserve to have a few words on me raising my daughter. As much as I appreciate your concerns and wants to play an active role in her upbringing, it does not include brainwashing her on what a bad parent I am, neither telling her I cant feed her 3 square meals a day. I have a few choiced words to you people, and they are not pretty.

  1. Women drivers who are like lunatics and act as if they left their brains and pair of eyes back home the minute they start the ignition and press on the gas pedal. These women bring shame to the gender. For God’s sake, please learn and master the simple corner maneuvering, side parking, reverse parking and changing a flat tyre. The side mirror is not meant for you to check on your lipsticks only. It is there for other reason.

  1. Myspace new friends who ding dong-ed questions on what colour are my panties for the day. No, you will not judge me simply when you saw a picture of me in a club a few weeks back. Listen to this too – you telling me how much you make in a year will not impress me to bits, ok?

  1. IM new friends. Yes, I have a working cam, and no, I am not interested to see how big your tool is. Please don’t bullshit me that you don’t have a cam when I see the indicator says that you do. Please also don’t tell me that you are in Europe when the time you just told me is the same as in my timeline. I know how many hours is London behind Kuala Lumpur.

  1. Do not interrupt me when I am talking. I have given you my time to listen to your reasoning and rant. It is my time now. Wait for your turn.

  

The Last New Year That Wasnt With You

Time: one week to count down, 2006. 

All the flights back to KK were full, even one week before the departure date. This is afterall, time for almost everyone to fly home and you are so adamant to go back. Your friends needed you, you said. They have been texting you endlessly, asking, begging for you to be there at Promenade.

You are their centre of attraction, life of the party, the Banker.

So, a popular guy, all the friends are calling now, decides to pay for the exhorbitant Business class one way. Your head honcho follows too and travels with the boss with style as well. Afterall, how can a Chairman walks alone without his trusted body guard?

I was left behind, spending the quiet new year at home with your daughter. Watching the fireworks on tv, and just imagining what festive atmosphere you were having there. With all your friends and endless pits of whiskeys, wines and band girls at the club.

I called you close to midnight but both mobiles went unanswered. Must be the band singing and getting ready for the countdown. Or could it be that you chose not pick up the calls as you were busy with the hoards of girls surrounding the table downing the bottles and wiggling their Pinoy asses on your lap.

But, you know what?

I will only let this sadness and nostalgia come and visit me once in a while, and only ever so briefly because I let them to. I choose to reflect on them. After this, I will pack all these memories, send them back to the small dark compartment in the deepest recess of my brain and forget them to oblivions.

Because, thats where they deserve to be.

Fanatic

Bhutto Assasinated In Attack On Rally

I remember a few years ago, Ahmad used to work as a Cook at my mother’s place. Ahmad was great at churning out the best bryani, roti chanai and fish curries. He was an expert in roasting the whole lamb for the many dinners my mother hosted. He served tea during tea-time with scones that he baked and marmalades that he bottled himself. The vegetables supplier knew his penchant for selecting the freshest vegetables and knew the market prices for main items. No issues there.

Ahmad was a Pakistani.

He was the perfect Cook save lest for his ideology that the (then) President Benazir Bhutto should not become a President simply because she was a woman. “And a woman”, he ranted on, “in Islam should not and cannot be a leader”.

Huh? I was perplexed. This was a very confused guy. This was the very kind of guy that gives many Western world a wrong glimpse of the religion. With one clean sweep, Islam is labeled as narrow and prejudice.

There he was chopping the onions in the kitchen belonging to a woman who had salvaged him from poverty, gave him roof to live under, paid for the education of his children (he was a divorcee) and paid his salary which was more than a graduate on his first job.

In my humble experience dealing with so many people here that cut across so many races, ethnics, religions and cultural backgrounds, I soon realised that there are really, really insane people out there who declare they are religious and pious but in reality they have come to a point of confusion in what is the true teaching of the holy religion and their own intepretation.

I have observed that these are some of the things that will bring up a heated debate with these so called self professed Muslim religious people:

  1. When a woman decides she needs to work
  2. A woman who decides she needs to work because the household income cant support the entire family
  3. When a woman becomes a Head of State
  4. A married woman earning more than the husband
  5. A woman who speaks more than one language
  6. A woman who speaks well in more than one language
  7. A woman who is aware of her sexuality (yeah, this is a bad one…)
  8. A woman who knows her rights
  9. When a woman who knows her rights made an informed decision

I have had enough listening from these people giving me unsolicited advices on how I should raise my daughter, or how I should (or should not) do in public and…what would be the most suitable job for me to do.

And I said to them…

“Huh?”