The Power Of Three

The past couple of weeks have been really an interesting observation.

The olympic came and went. The paralympic game is coming to its tail end. Every single Malaysians took the chance to forget about the religious, political and race divide that have been haunting us for a while by coming together feeling proud of our athletes. The sound of Negara Ku played in Rio was exhilarating and makes me feel so patriotic.

Thursday night, G took me for a theater performance at KLPac. It was a full house. I saw so many people from every creed – blue, green, polka dot – and just being themselves, excited, happy and looking very artsy as people can get. We stood up for Negara Ku just before the show. People came in droves to watch “Shakespeare Goes Bollywood”. It was a funny performance, taking small jabs at current issues such as mixed marriages, religion and wealth divide. It was directed by a Chinese director Matthew Koh.

Then, yesterday, I represented our company, Dragonfire, as one of the panelists in a talk organized by Malaysia Collective Impact Initiative on education, employability and skill gaps. Despite the fact that there were us – blue, green, polka dot – we spoke and agreed on similar issues and moving forward.

And here I am reflecting, what could be the “thing” that could bind Malaysians again? I am now, truly convinced that there are only these things that could do it:

1) sports
2) education
3) arts

Nothing else can be as powerful as these Power of Three.

#powerofthree

#unity

It Is Scandalous!!

I was referring to the attire that I wore when travelling to the two Holy Cities.

On departure day.

The abaya/robe is just soooooooo pretty and amazingly cool to wear despite the outside heat.

However, travelling from KL to Jeddah is no laughing matter. That’s a good 9 hour flight not including idling time before and after. You need something comfortable to wear underneath that hijab and long flowing abaya. Something snappy to go to airplane’s toilet…

Medina Al Mukarramah as seen from the plane as it descended.

My phone camera could not capture the beauty of the moon that I saw that night. It was so beautiful.

Just outside of the umrah/hajj arrival hall.

What’s in the closet?

Lots of long sleeves inner t shirts, tights, track pants, socks, disposal panties, robes that do not have front opening, head coverings or instant hijab. Malaysian and Indonesian ladies use “telekung” for prayers. I had two sets of this for our 7-day trip. As laundry is pretty expensive in these two cities, you may want to bring a few more if you stay longer. It is comfortable and prayer compliance.

Instant hijab tutorial

Here’s another link

Abayas with front opening/buttons are pretty too but may distract you when it keeps snapping open as you sit on the floor or take long strides. Unless you are apt at wearing the long scarves around your head, bring instant hijab. Beautiful abayas can be bought at the souk. Some shops are offering SAR40/piece for any design. Grab those for you. Maybe a few more for gifts.

Uniglo should be your best buddy for travel t shirt. They are light, comfortable and reasonably priced. It comes with long sleeves too. I wore track pants underneath the abaya for ease of movement. Tights or casual pants from Marks & Spencer or Zara is good too. Whatever brand that you like, make sure it is breathable and comfortable. I had my leopard print tights underneath the cream coloured abaya as I circled the Kaabah 7 times. My running pair of Sketchers was a real great help to move about, travelling, walking the long airport corridors, climbing the various mountains during the ziarah/visits to holy sites. Try climbing Jabal Rahmah in slippers and you will end up with extra pedicure bills when you come back. You will still need a pair of comfortable sandal/slippers to flip flop around.

On some days, I would have a couple of pairs of socks thrown in the tote bag together with a plastic bag. When the time comes to make a quick dash to the mosque, I could just slip on the socks and place the slippers in the plastic bag for hygiene purposes.

Two things you must remember when choosing the correct attire here. It must be loose, covering your entire body (not provocative) and comfortable for walking. Trust me, you will have a lot of walking. Either back and forth from hotel to the mosque, or when you want to explore the surrounding vicinity. The building blocks surrounding the Nabawi Mosque are built in grids. The entire grid is made up of various classes of hotels – from 1 star to 5 star. Medina’s weather was a bit cold at the we were there. It was the end of the year so it was considered as winter. The night could be around 15C and the mornings might be a tad chillier than that especially with the wind factor.

One thing glaring about the area where we stayed was the lack of cafes or restaurants. Not even food stalls. There was only one shawarma stall nearby the hotel. We had a meal at the Movenpick cafe. About SAR99 later of two shawarmas, an Americano and a latte later, we were not very happy with choices of eating places.

Ok. I digress.

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday

The Art Of Finding The Soul Mate

This piece is dedicated to a dear friend, Mohsin who is a game changer, explorer, adrenaline junkie, single & available and is on his quest to look for The One.

All of us grew up watching Disney movies where the Prince and Princess will live happily ever after at the end. The movies are always accompanied with beautiful songs which are so Disney-esque.

And still did not see it in the real world.

Beautiful, I thought. But I never thought that true love would happen to me. Finding that elusive soul mate is just a fairy tale. I grew watching so many loveless marriages and shattered relationships that the idea of true love just eluded me.

The Never Land

Being single at one point of my life taught me a few important things, and I call this my Never Land:

• never underestimate your own strength of living through life
• never have the “I am a victim” mentality
• never “settle” as you deserve more. Psychobitches and psycho bastards are abound and difficult to shake off.
• never disregard your bull shit detector/gut feels that God gives you
• never accept “half loaf of bread”
• never be needy and desperate
• never compact your life in a small box. The world is your oyster, go explore.
• (this is for men) never let your dick do the thinking as it has no brain for rationalisation.

Some friends ask me how do G and I achieve a balance in our own marriage. Being so different and yet so compatible. Well, I do not have all the answers but one thing we agreed upon is that we both have had life experiences before we met each other. If we had met years before we were destined to meet, I do not think we will even tolerate each other, let alone being married! Being the practical people that we are, we treated the relationship as a business similar to merger & acquisition. We prodded, examined, asked, validated everything from divorce papers, salary slips to health screens to legal papers. Then we opened up the “closets” and think about whether we could live with all these information with a knowledge and acceptance that history was done. That this person is here, now, present and he/she cannot undo what has happened in the past. The acceptance is important because this is where the trust comes in. The trust that whatever you found in the closets will never be used against you in the future. This is where the NDA (non disclosure agreement) comes in. Next step is to sign the M&A or in this context, the pre nuptial agreement.

But, one of the key things is this – your “customer service” must be opened, 7 days a week, 365 and a quarter – ever ready to serve your “client” (spouse/partner/soulmate). Come rain or shine, this customer service must be grounded, neutral and objective.

Why I Am A Big Advocate of Pre nuptial Agreement

Donald Trump, one of my big time idols advocates pre nuptial agreement. “It’s a hard, painful, ugly tool,” says Trump. “Believe me, there’s nothing fun about it. But there comes a time when you have to say, ‘Darling, I think you’re magnificent, and I care for you deeply, but if things don’t work out, this is what you’re going to get.” It is worth noting that he was married twice before Melania Knauss and both ex wives tried contesting the pre nup with no success.

See what happens when the love is lost? When you are still in love, you want to give and give and love and care the other person. When the love is lost, trust me my friends, even a single sen will be dug out from the past – where was it gone to, what have you done with it, etc etc.

It is also a show of responsibility especially when you have a business to run. Pre nuptial agreements ensures the company’s sustainability which in return takes care of its employees. Do not punish the employees for your own stupidity when the company is split into several ways upon your divorce. Imagine 10s, 100s or thousands of employees who are out of jobs when this happens.

The Check Boxes

Sure, you can create as many boxes as you like as you go along but remember all these boxes must also be a reflection of yourself. Would you check all these boxes for yourself?

So Where’s The Art In This?

Be brave, listen to your gut feel, open up your mind and do not be gullible. It is easy to fall in lust and confused it with love.

The Senior Citizen At Home

We have 26 furkids and roughly 3/4 of them are senior citizens, meaning they are above 7 years old.

The most senior is Rexton, aged 16 which is about 80 years old human age. Her mom, Chomel was a real darling. Rexton’s dad was Tiger, an exotic breed of Persian and LDSH ginger boy.

(Rexton, 2013)

As I type this blog, she is just lazying herself next to the netbook, trying to be as quiet as possible although her occasional meows breaks the silence in the room. Her fur has changed somewhat. Her lovely fur now is now greying, with white and silver specks here and there. And, just like human do, she refused to walk up and down the staircase more than she needs to. She has lesser teeth now too. Taking comfort with a mix of kibbles and wet food, she loves her boiled chicken as treat.

 

(Rexton, 2006)

She mostly sleeps nowadays, or admiring the quiet street in front of our home. There is not much of activity in the neighbourhood except for the contractors who have been busy renovating the houses near ours. Her usual place is by the glass sliding door where it is quiet and hidden away from the rest of the furkids.  When she gets bored, she will take the effort to climb the stairs and curls up in front of our bedroom door.

At night, she climbs in to bed noisily, usually with some long winded stories and plonks herself next to me or sometimes next to George. I could smell her sweet Rexton scent, so unique to her. I think each of our kids have their own unique scent!

 

(Rexton, 2014, on the study table, next to me)

Even at 16 years old, she is still scared of the thunder. She will hide away under the bed or better still, the blanket and promptly fell asleep while the thunder roars outside.

We have been watching her closely for the last couple of months of some subtle changes in her….. There is so much love and care for them in this house. And the furkids have been through a lot for the past many years and hope that we could provide them with the best of their final years with us.

 

The Awesome Breakfast

I was woken up so early in the morning and George was sitting by the bedside with a mug of coffee. He handed it to me.

I took it from his hand, and promptly burst into tears. Panic ensued. He asked me whether I wanted something else or has he done anything wrong?

I said, no. It is just that I have never had anyone who make coffee for me, like that. Ever. That was close to 5 years ago, and the coffee incident was in the first morning of our marriage life together. And that was the start of many coffee/milo/horlicks/tea mornings.

Three mornings ago, he make me these….

No wonder I love this man very much.

 

Boris Is Finally Home

A few weeks ago I posted on our new furkid, Boris. We were not sure as to how we would react to all the new, different scents in the house and what with the other kids around. Could the rest of the kids accept him and vice versa?

Looks like our worries were unfounded. Boris is finally making his way around the house and making himself comfortable. For the first few days out from the cage, he liked to occupy the steps on the landing. Of which this make Rexton upset as it is her spot after all. He also liked to go back to his big, white cage at the back of the kitchen to sleep at night. Sometimes he would perch on top of the fence or sleep on the wooden bench under the porch. But that makes Prince upset as it is his spot. What a big, new kitty gotta do to sleep??

These happened for a good couple of weeks.

Finally, he found his spot – right in the mail box! He now has a nick name – Boris The Mail Box Guardian.

With his dark green eyes, long whiskers, huge body and beautiful coat – he is such a handsome boy!

Boris has also explored the rest of the home and figured that our bedroom is the best place of all because of the aircond. So, on weekends, we could hear him meowing ever so lightly outside of the door. By the time we open it up, we can see the rest of the troop waiting for food. All of this food-meowing come like a stereo and Zeus will lead everyone down the staircase to the kitchen…

He can get a tad lazy bum…as seen here. He loves laying down on his side while lapping up from the water bowl.

The lady at the nearby nursery gave me a generous amount of cat nip recently and I figured the kids would love it. It was Boris’ first time with the exotic herb and judging from the look of it, he thoroughly enjoyed himself.

Looks like he is finally home now.

Hari Raya Aidil Fitri 1433 – Day 1

The Aidil Fitri table setting.

The Aidil Fitri morning spread. The spread consists of rendang daging, rendang ayam, nasi impit kuah kacang and lemang. There were some poppy seed and brown bun which was a tad unconventional but George loves them.

It is now customary for the three of us to sit down together for the celebration makan before receiving any guests for the day.

Miss Kaypohchee – Sheba, supervising household work and table setting. You dont want a supervisor like Sheba. Very mouthy…

Lyn in her pretty baju Kebaya.

George and Lyn after salam Aidil Fitri…

Lyn after salam…

George and I…

Mencintaimu

Dear Husband………

Mencintaimu 

Mencintai mu
Seumur hidup ku
Selamanya
Setia menanti

Walau di hati saja
Seluruh hidup ku
Selamanya
Kau tetap milik ku

( korus )
Hanya satu yang tak mungkin kembali
Hanya satu yang tak pernah terjadi
Segalanya teramat berarti di hati ku
Selamanya…

Mencintai mu
Seumur hidup ku
Selamanya
Kau tetap milik ku

Sometimes The Past Will Remind You Of How Good The Current Life Is

Yesterday morning, as we sat down to have our breakfast, George and I were chatting about some stories of the past. Some people of the past. And why sometimes these people come back to tease your present life.

I told him I have a theory. I told him of the story from Elizabeth, starring Cate Blanchett. She refused to marry the suitors who came to see her but instead was courting Robert Dudley (Joseph Fiennes). Elizabeth, after finding out that her lover was a married man, and also part of a conspiracy, had banished him from her life instead of executing him. She felt that by sparing Robert’s life, this will always remind her how fragile life can be, and how she refused to be ruled by a man but England and herself.

That’s what it is. Sometimes someone from your past comes back to remind you of how good the current life is.